How to create personal affirmations that really work

Today’s episode of the podcast is all about affirmations and how to create your own personal ones.

I recently ran this as an exercise in the Dream Business Club, through the Mindset Lives we run every month, and my members found it so valuable, which is why I wanted to share it with you today.

I would love to know what affirmations you have and where you put them, or whether after this episode you’re going to have a go at creating some! Please feel free to share with me, by connecting over on my social media, linked below.


● What affirmations are and why they work
● What to think about when creating your own affirmations
● How to make your affirmations feel real


Affirmations aren’t silly or ‘woo’, they are based in science and really powerful!



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Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the podcast. How are things? As I record this episode, it's a super frosty day and I am sat at my desk with a blanket on because it's a bit chilly and I'm wearing a new dress that I really love, but it's not very practical. So it's more of a summer dress and I'm wearing in winter, hence why now I've got a blanket on because I've not been very practical.

I've got my dogs, uh, one by my feet and one outside the door who are both fast asleep, which is lovely when they're like that. So if they move, I apologize that you might be able to hear them. And I am batch recording episodes and sometimes I find it really hard to get into the swing of things, of, into the swing of the episodes.

And one of the things that, you know, I've changed, obviously I no longer have interviews because I just fancied a bit of a change and a rest. Although it's not to say I'm not gonna do any. In fact, I've got a couple lined up that I'm thinking I might do. They tend to be a bit different, or one of them is a friend that I'm gonna bring on and we're just gonna have like a chat.

But she's in business too. And she's a coach too. But yeah, I, and the reason I'm kind of talking about all this is because sometimes we do things for the sake of doing them because we've always done them and we always feel like we need to do them. And I think it's worth just taking a step back every so often and going, “Is this what I wanna do? Is this bringing me joy? Is this doing the purpose?”

Because some things don't bring us joy, but we really have to do them like our accounts or admin or whatever. Well, they're for me anyway, but they will help and they do something for the business. But the reason I wanted to say is I just wanted say that if you are sat there thinking, “God, I'm so tired of doing this one thing”, or “Actually this doesn't fit me anymore.” then why do it?

Who says, you have to do it now? I'm not stopping the podcast. That's not why I'm leading to in this. I'm just saying like it's worth giving these things some serious thought because sometimes we, we don't, sometimes we just keep going because we feel like we must have to, or we must be on all the social media platforms cuz that's the thing to do.

Or everyone has to be on Facebook. Well, they don't do they. You can do what you want. It's your business. You get to decide. But one of the things I want this year, and one of the things that I am thinking about and that are in my goals, is I want more bliss and pleasure and fun and joy. And I think sometimes we work super hard on our businesses and super hard on things that we forget to add in the joy and the bliss and the happiness and the pleasure.

So one of the things that I am working hard on is making sure I get some more of that in my world this year. And, and actually I wanna ask a favor while I'm here, one of the things that I am doing, or I'm planning on doing is doing something new, fun, different, interesting every month. Almost like testing out loads of different hobbies.

So for January, I went to a dance class and then, I've got a few other ideas kind of lined up for different things. Like I want to go and have a lo around a garden because I haven't done that and I really did wanna do that. I just paid yesterday for the Happy Place Festival. If you're in the UK you know, fearne cotton.

I just booked that for September and yeah, so like what do you do that makes you happy and brings you joy and fills you up because that's what I'm trying to do more of this year. So it kind of brings me onto my, my subject for today. Kind of not, but you know, we'll go with it and pretend. One of the things I thought I talk about today are affirmations.

And the reason I wanna talk about this is because every single month in the club we do a mindset exercise where me and whoever club members wanna join me. Get on the call and I run through an activity and an exercise, and we all do it together, and then we often share and we often discuss it and we often look at the thing and it's really cool.

I love it. And I know they do too. And sometimes I open them to things that maybe they haven't thought about before. Sometimes it's very practical things like the Wheel of Life or the values exercise and they've done it before, but we repeat it because it's really important to keep repeating these things because as we change things change and as time moves on, we change.

But one of the ones we did this month was affirmations. So we talked about what they were. We talked about how they work because there is some science behind it. As you know, I always like to bring the science in. I always find it's funny, like I always worry that people think I'm frivolous and silly if I like things that are a bit more woo.

So therefore, I think I try and compensate by putting the science in. But actually if you like it and it makes you happy, then you don't have to justify it. So, so I'm just going with it. So we talk about affirmations, what they are, and then we look at some of the ways in which we can create our own affirmations.

And I just thought as we had a mindset session about it, and obviously it wouldn't be as in detail as we have in the, in the club and obviously in the club we we do the kind of back and forth and we give each other advice and support, and I help people write their affirmations. But I thought I would talk you through in case it's something that you've never thought of or in case you do do it and you want to tweak your affirmations.

So affirmations are phrases or statements that when you repeat them regularly, either out loud or to yourself, can shift negative thought patterns, promote positive thinking, self-esteem, and motivation. They work. There's a good reason in which they work. Now, I've talked about this in the episode I did, which was the science behind the Woo, and we'll tag to that in the show notes.

But at times your brain can't tell the difference between reality and imagination. So when you create a mental image of yourself doing something, it activates many of the brain areas that experiencing these situations would. So I think I said in that episode, there was an amazing, amazing study done where a scientists bought in some pianists and they got them to sit at the piano and play their favorite piece.

I'm probably adlibbing very much, but this is the gist. And while they were playing, they were wired up and they were watching their brainwaves. And then, what they got them to do is they got 'em to step away from the piano, to sit down, to close their eyes, and they got to imagine playing the piano. And exactly the same parts in their brain lit up whether they were actually playing or just imagining. So powerful. So amazing.

So regular repetition of the statements about yourself encourages your brain to take these positive affirmations as fact. When you genuinely believe you can do something, your actions will often follow.

This comes down to what I talked about in that episode, which is neuroplasticity, oh gosh, I can't say it. Neuroplasticity or your brain's ability to change and adapt to different circumstances so your brain can move. So the more you tell yourself something, the brain has this neuroplasticity where it can start to change based on what you're telling it.

So that's why affirmations work. But there are some key considerations. Now, when I did the research for this session. I went online and I was looking at affirmations and I looked at like some of the affirmations that you can have that you just get offline. And God, they were awful. I say they're awful. They didn't fit me and they didn't feel real.

And I think that's the key thing. It's gotta be personal to you and it's got to be. It's gotta feel like something you would say. So having an affirmation that says, I am strong, I am powerful, I am successful. Just wouldn't wash with me because I need a bit more evidence than that and I need a bit more personal stuff than that.

So some of the things you might want to think about when creating your own affirmations is now. Obviously lots of the evidence kind of say make 'em short. Now I don't wanna make 'em too short, so something like I am enough is not long enough for me. If you like them short, then great. I need a bit more sort of meat on the bones as it were.

The next thing to remember is when you're writing an affirmation, start with an I or a my statement, because you want it to own to you. You want it to be very much attached to you as in I am this, or you know, my whatever is this. So it is attached to you. You wanna write your affirmation in the present tense.

So it needs to be as if it is happening or has happened. And you don't want to begin your affirmations with, I want, or I need, because that just basically says you haven't got it. And if you're sat there going, Hmm, this is all sounded a bit much, then I'm gonna give you some practical examples of how I think this can work and how, how, not so much. Make sure your affirmations are in a positive statement.

Obviously there needs to be positive things. We do not wanna create affirmations of negative things. Our brain does that perfectly well enough for itself all the time. And if you can add emotion into your affirmation. A bit like marketing, if you add a emotion in, it just hits a bit deeper. So if you can add that emotion in, then great.

So one of the things I got them to do in the session was I got them to think about some negative thoughts that they have, and it's almost very similar to limiting beliefs. But obviously these are more generic thoughts, not specific thoughts. So I got them to think about things like work, their abilities, their relationship, their money, body, their happiness, and think about some of the things they might say to themselves or some of their thoughts that they might have.

And I got them to write them down. Now I gave them some examples like, I am not good enough to make this work. I don't have enough time to invest in myself. I'm not smart enough to understand the tech. I hear that a lot. I don't have enough experience to charge that. I also hear that one a lot. I'll never be successful in my industry. I don't have enough money to enjoy my life.

So I just gave them some examples of what it is they, they might be thinking. And then we need to turn them into positive. Now I am very realistic in the fact of like, let's take a body one. Let's say you are unhappy with your weight and you wanna be a size 10.

UK and American sizes are a little bit different. I think size 10 is our size 12. Anyway, it doesn't matter. So let's say you wanna shift like four different sizes. Well, there's no point saying, I am a size 10, cuz your brain's gonna go, no you're not. Like, so for me, As well as those other things that we talked about.

One of the things that we really need to think about is making them feel real. Because if you have an affirmation that just says, I am thin and I am this, then you are proving it wrong if you are not those things. So I would much rather choose a different type of affirmations. So for instance, so the example I gave them of, of kind of the silliness was money.

So I am so grateful and happy to have a hundred thousand in my savings. Well, if you haven't got a hundred thousand in your savings, then your brain's gonna go, but you haven't and it's not gonna believe it. So what you could do is you could say, I am so grateful for the abundant life I live, and I'm excited to see how money flows to me.

So that sounds much more. Realistic, but also positive also in the present moment, also emotionally kind of charged. That sounds good. I like the sound of that. You might listen to that and think that sounds terrible. And like I said, it's a very personal thing, but you can see the difference between saying, I'm so grateful that I have 10,000 pounds in my savings opposed to, I'm grateful for the abundant life I live, and I'm excited to see how money flows to me.

So you can see the difference. That one just isn't fact and one is fact actually, we live in a, if you're listening to this podcast, the chances are you live in a very abundant life. You know, you have running water and food and shelter and all the good stuff. So that is fact. And yet still aspirational.

So some of the examples I gave, so some of the things that you might think about are all I need is within me right now, and I'm so thankful for that. I also put down I am proud of myself for getting me this far, and I'm excited to see what the future holds. I'm allowed to say no to others and say yes to myself to lead a happy life.

I give myself the care and attention that I deserve because I am worth the effort. I am so fortunate that my business gives me the freedom to live how I want.

So I wrote some really nice examples of affirmations down there, but like I said, they might not hit with you. They might not resonate, but just have a think about creating some for yourself. And when you've created some for yourself, you.

And one of the things I got them to do in the session was tell me where they were going to use them and how. So some people decided that as they journal every day, they're gonna rewrite them out. Someone does a weekly review, they're gonna write them out on a weekly review. Someone is gonna have them on their phone screen, someone is going to put them in front of them on their desk, like someone is gonna put them in their bedroom so they can see them before they go to sleep and as they wake up.

But the idea is you want it to be somewhere that obviously you are gonna see fairly often, and you want those positive statements to be kind of coming over again and again and again. So have a think about places in your life that you would like to improve or you would like to be different, and think about how you could create a positive affirmation around that.

But meets those criteria. So let me run over what those criteria were again. So it needs to be short and easy to remember. It needs to start with an “I” or a “My”. It needs to be written in the present tense. You need to make sure that your affirmations are in a positive statements. Don't begin with, begin them with I want, or I need add emotions so that they feel more kind of add that gravitas to it, but make them real.

Make them so that they are not absolutely ridiculous. So make them feel as real as you can while still being positive and aspirational. So I would like to know what affirmations you have and where you put them and how you came up with them. So come and let me know.

I would love to have a conversation with you about it. Let me know if you give this a try and share with me what your affirmations are. If you are happy to. I hope that you got some stuff from this episode and I will be back as always next week with another episode. Until then, have a wonderful week.