How To Get In The Right Mindset And Face Failure Head On

This week I am going to be talking about something that has made a huge difference to my business – my mindset. This is a common topic in the business space and having done a lot of work on my personal mindset when it comes to business, I wanted to share some of my thoughts on the topic. As well as focusing on mindset, I also want to look at failure. Whilst most people look at failure as a bad thing, I want to discuss why I am now happy that I fail every once in a while. This will be a slightly different episode than what you’re used to, but I hope you enjoy listening as much as I enjoyed recording it.

  • Imagining big goals is a great way to set your dreams into motion. Although you don’t need ‘huge’ goals to see, dreaming big is a great way to put yourself in the best mindset.
  • Don’t feel stupid for setting yourself big goals, it’s okay to dream big.
  • If you don’t feel as though you have the support when it comes to your goals, try to surround yourself with people that focus on their mindset. Whether that means listening to podcasts or joining like-minded communities.
  • Sometimes, you have to accept that you can’t control your goals. What you can control, however, is the actions you take to achieve them.
  • Ask yourself ‘’honestly, what is the worst that could happen?’’
  • Rather than thinking ‘’what if they say no?’’ think about what would happen if they say yes.

If you let the fear of failure stop you from doing something, you have failed already.

  • Should You Set Big Goals for Your Business? – 02:35
  • Failure Is Okay – 11:50
  • My ‘Scary’ Experiences of Facing Failure Head On– 19:07
Transcript below


Speaker 1: (00:33)

Welcome to this week's episode of the podcast. How the devil are you? I hate having stopped the podcast because I feel like it started the same way every single week. Also, while I'm talking about this, when I interview people, I start out the same way. But you know what happens if I try and mix it up? I mess it up. So I just think, hopefully it's so sure and we move on quickly that you'll just not realise that I start the same way pretty much every single week. Of course, now I've drawn into your attention. You're going to go back and listen or next time you'll think, Oh yeah, she did. Um, I've seen maybe I should've just kept my mouth shut. Anyway. So I hope you've had a good week and I hope you enjoyed last week's episode where we were talking about going live and if you haven't gone live already, please do so and please tag me and Tiffany in cause we really, really want to hear it.


So this week I'm going to talk about something a little bit different. I'm going to talk a little bit mindset-y. Now, I don't know whether you guys liked these episodes or whether you prefer me to be like proper tactics, strategies, tools, tips, but you know, honestly, this is the thing that's made the biggest difference in my business. And when I look back, I was looking for content for these episodes, thinking about what can I talk about? And I went back through the Academy that because it's a great place to find what people are asking and then I think, Oh actually that would make a great episode or I can create something around that. So for me it's a really, really good resource. And I, and I was looking back and I find a couple of posts that all came down to mindset and how they felt about their business and how they were struggling.


Should You Set Big Goals for Your Business?


Speaker 1: (02:13)

So I wanted to focus around this, but I also wanted to focus on the fact as to talking about failure and why I am now happy to fail and I wasn't previously. So if that's okay with you, that's what we're going to be talking about today. So let's kick this off by talking about goals. And this was specifically the question that was asked in the Academy about one of the members of the Academy said that they were in two minds about setting big, hairy, scary goals. Now I don't know whether you know, there are lots of people out there like from celebrities to business owners to whoever that do a lot around manifestation and trying to imagine the big goals they want. And I am all for this. Okay. I never used to be, I have to say this, I, when I started the business, I didn't even think about mindset at all. Didn't think I had to, I didn't think it would affect the business. And then I quickly learned that for me and my business actually it has a really positive impact.


Now, I'm not gonna say that it's gonna be the same for everybody else, but I want you to try on this episode, just keep slightly open minded about things if this isn't really your bag and just think whether this may or may not work for you. Like I said, I am very, what's the word? I don't think it's cynical as such, but I think I would, I like facts and figures. So I wanted the science behind it all. And of course some stuff that just isn't science. But in my mind, the way I think about all this is if I do these things and they don't hurt anybody and I don't feel like an idiot doing it then, and it makes a difference in any way, shape or form, then surely it's gotta be a good thing. Whether it was that that made the difference or whether it was something else, it doesn't matter. The fact is it made a difference.


So, so anyway, I just wanted to kind of check that caveat in there. So let's start with the goals thing. So like I said, I am a big fan of setting goals of dreaming big. Now there is some science around this about the fact that your brain doesn't know the difference between a imagined thing and an actual memory apparently. Also I'm not scientist, so don't quote me on that. But anyway, basically your by imagining how it can be and what it might be in those big goals, you are almost kind of setting things in motion to get you to that. That's the way I read that. So I am a big fan of goals. I write my goals at every single morning. I say every morning, every morning I do my morning routine. Which of late has not been as much as I didn't liked cause I'm not very good at doing it while I'm out and about on the road or when life gets busy, which is terrible cause that's the time I should be doing it.


Anyway so I write my goals out and some of the goals are crazy. Like some of them you would look at and think, who are you kidding? Or people might look at and go, who you kidding? And the question and the group was around the fact of do you ever feel like you're telling yourself, who am I kidding? How ridiculous is this? The thing that this is actually gonna happen. So for instance, one of my goals, I'm very honest about sharing all this with you, but I think it's important and hopefully you'll know by now I'm a very honest person. So one of my goals is that I want 100,000 pounds sat in my savings account, you know, rainy day money. Wouldn't that be nice?


And another of my goals is I only want to fly first class or business class because quite honestly, if you've ever flown first or business, which I've been very fortunate for mainly reasons of points and because I fly so much, but oh wow. It is like a whole different world. So imagine how amazing it would be to be doing that. Like every flight I ever took. So I put some of these crazy amazing goals in there. And like I said, my, my, one of my Academy members talked in the group and asked the question about, you know, do you ever feel like I'm an idiot? What am I thinking? Who am I kidding? And she also talked around the fact that maybe other people in her circle of not influenced, but basically the people who are very close to her didn't see those common goals either and didn't necessarily believe that they might happen.

Speaker 1: (06:18)

So there was two things here just quickly. The first one was, do you feel like an idiot when you're writing them down? And I said to her, I totally get why you might feel like that. Because sometimes when things are tough, when they're hard, when you've had a bad week, when you were hoping that something would happen and it didn't come off, sometimes you do look at them or think, who am I kidding? But I have to say 99% of the time I'm pretty fine on it. And I really do kind of let myself just daydream about it. I let myself think, Oh my gosh, imagine how amazing that's going to be. And the kind of crazy thought is that I am sat here going that is going to happen and I do believe that it's going to happen and I'm doing everything in my power to get there.

Speaker 1: (07:03)

So that was the one thing that sometimes, you know, do you feel stupid? And I know, um, we talked in the group about the fact that Jim Carey once wrote himself a check for, I think it was like $1 million for a, for a film. And he wrote it when literally he was getting no work at all and he was like broke and wasn't the actor that he is today. And he wrote it with a date on, in the future. And by that date he got, he was just signed to do, I think it was Dumb and Dumber and got $1 million for his acting in Dumb and Dumber. So like I get it and I think if we did something and there's loads of celebrities that do this sort of thing. So I am like all a big fan of that. But I do get that if you don't feel very confident in yourself or if you're struggling a little bit that you might look at it and go, that's never going to happen.

Speaker 1: (07:54)

But I urge you to not think about that and to think about, imagine what it's going to feel like when it happens and you know what and if it does, absolutely flip and amazing. If it doesn't, you might have reached further than you ever thought that you would have done if you hadn't have drummed that far ahead. So let's say you want to make, I don't know, 500,000 this year, and that is so far out of your reach that you're like, well that's just crazy. But if you'd set yourself a goal of 50,000 then you would only get 50,000 because in your head that's all you're aiming for. When you set some crazy massive goals, so right in front of you, then your head kind of has to stretch that bit further about how do I get there and it's not about and then we're going to come to this a bit more.

Speaker 1: (08:40)

But it's not necessarily about the actual getting to the goal in the end. It's about the action that you're taking to get there. Because if you are trying to get to 500,000 you're going to take many more actions and work much, much harder than necessarily you might do if you are only trying to aim for 50,000 let's say.


Okay, so that was the first bit. And the second bit was I felt really bad about it because she talked about the fact of the support wasn't necessarily there. That's really, really tough because you know what, when I first went into this mindset and mindfulness side of the business, it was brand brand new to me and I sat there at times and thought, what a load of rubbish. Like what are you on? That it's not going to happen. Don't be ridiculous. And my husband, who I've talked about lots of times, is an engineer in the military, no less. So like not only does he have an engineering brain, but he's also a military person. So he is the furthest away from wuwu mindset stuff than anybody I know.


So again, having those conversations with him and trying to get him to understand why I was interested in it or the effect it might have on my business was a bit of a tricky one because he didn't get it necessarily straight off either. So what I did was I kind of tried to get him more and more involved with the business. I would often, and I do often part of my morning routine, I play podcasts and I listen to podcasts. So I was listening to more and more podcasts like James Wedmore and Brooke Castillo. I'm going to hook up to both of those in the show notes because they are great podcasts, especially around kind of mindset and coaching and that sort of thing.

Speaker 1: (10:18)

And do you know what? He kind of listened to it and almost by osmosis he kind of started to take it in and he started to see it, but not only did he see or understand it a bit more because I was kind of playing these things and he was like, Oh, that's interesting. And he kept a very open mind. But secondly, he started to see the effect it had on me and my business, I. E. the more I put into my mindset, the more I worked on this, the more I was motivated, the more I thought I get achieve bigger and better things. So that's kind of one of the things I wanted you to think about when it comes to goal setting. Are you goal setting? Are those goals literally like half a mile in front of you? Or are they literally wrapped around the world? Because mine, mine probably aren't as crazy as they could be compared to some.


Failure Is Okay


Speaker 1: (11:03)

And I'm not sat there saying I'm a prime minister or I'm going to be a millionaire. I'm, you know, I suppose in one way you could say they're fairly modest, but they are, you know, I don't have a hundred thousand pounds in my savings account or anywhere near that right now. So, you know, so for me they are a good stretch in front. So, okay. So that's the first thing. Setting those goals. But like I said it, the mindset thing isn't around necessarily the goal setting. It's about the actions you take in order to start getting towards those. And this was a massive shift for me now when I not even when I started my business or forever and a day. I hate failing. I'm very competitive. I am also a perfectionist and I get embarrassed really easily or I used to get embarrassed really easily. I had like a fool, this podcast.

Speaker 1: (11:53)

So why I don't get embarrassed about that. I have no idea. But I think it's, cause I'm sat in this room just talking to myself like a slightly strange person and I forget that you guys are got me in your ears and you're listening to me right now. But anyway, we won't think about that. So, so yeah, I those things I hate failing, perfectionist, you know, want to be brilliant at everything, competitive and the fact that I hate, I don't like looking like a fool. So anything like putting myself out there slightly that then might give me a response I don't want, I would never have done in a million years. I always worked in my comfort zone. I've worked in marketing for 15 years, so I was never really out of my comfort zone in terms of that. I happened to like speaking, so that didn't really put me out of my comfort zone the whole lot.

Speaker 1: (12:41)

Obviously different events have put me more out of my comfort zone, but generally I kind of stayed pretty safe in what I was doing and then I started to want to work towards the online business and a couple of episodes ago I talked about the transition in the business that I've made and making and how that looks and some of the fear stuff that I've done there, but I wanted to transition over and I wanted to achieve more and do more and I just wasn't doing it. I was literally sat absolutely in the spot saying, yeah, I'm going to do that, I'm going to do that. And then when it came to anything tangible to move towards it, no, just didn't do it. I was too scared. And I think I've, I'm sure I've talked about this before, I definitely talked about in emails, but basically I went and joined James Wedmore's Business by Design and I went out to Laguna beach, beautiful Laguna beach, sat in a conference room with 200 of a very successful entrepreneurs and felt very much out of my depth.

Speaker 1: (13:43)

Although I had a good successful business that, well, I started a successful business, but I think I doubted my level and I dieted my skills and my ability, but because we were talking online businesses and at the time I didn't have one. I had my agency, so I sat in the room feeling a little bit out of my comfort zone and James was asking people to do hot seats. I, you ask a question, he answers you. He gives you coaching. Now the whole point of me joining Business by Design was so I could get in front of James Wedmore because he was a bit of a god in my eyes. He was great. I loved his podcast. I loved his advice. I'd learn a lot from him, so to be sat in the same room as him, to be getting a hot seat from him was amazing.

Speaker 1: (14:25)

However, I was too scared, right? I didn't want to put my hand up. I didn't want to look like an idiot. I was in a room of 200 people and I sat there mouth shut the entire time and the first day went by. I didn't say a word and I wanted to so desperately wanted to because I wanted to speak to him about my business. I wanted to have that input from him, but I didn't. I made the, I take the risk to spend all that money because it was an expensive thing and get in front of him. I literally sat there fearful that I didn't want to look like a fool. Anyway, the next morning I got up and thought, right, I've got to say something today. He started off the day by going and give me your key takeaway from yesterday. Few people put their hands up.

Speaker 1: (15:08)

They stood up and gave their takeaway. He said, thanks. They sat down again and I thought, boom, this is it. This is how I'm going to stand up. I don't want a hot seat. I don't want my business being discussed. Not because it didn't want it to be discussed, but just because I was like really embarrassed about it or really embarrassed about standing up and talking about these things. So I thought, I'm going to stand up, I'm going to give my key takeaway and I'm going to sit back down. Great. I've spoken to James Wedmore, so I put my hands up, I'm sat front and centre, always do at conference because then you get the eye of the person on the stage. And I, when I'm on stage, I look at the people front and centre. So anyway, bit of a tip there. So I put my hand up and he picks me and he says, what's your key takeaway?

Speaker 1: (15:47)

And I said that I'm not being the CEO that my business deserves. And that was something he talked about day four and he was like, what do you mean? How would it look if you were being the CEO your business deserved? And I thought, Oh no, no, please don't do this because I just thought you were going to go thank you. Sit down. Anyway, I sat there and went, well, I would have launched my course. And he's like, what course? And I explained to him and the rest of the room that I had put together a course around content creation and I just hadn't sold it. And he then went instead towards the back of the room, he'd come off the stage by this point when instead of towards the back of the room. So then I'm facing everybody in the room and he's like, so why haven't you launched it?

Speaker 1: (16:30)

And I very honestly and very scared was like, because I'm, I'm scared. And he's like, what are you scared of? And I was like, what if no one buys it? And he said, and what would that mean if no one bought it? And I said, it would mean I failed. And he's like, okay, so how many have you sold so far? And I was thinking, well, did you not hear me? I haven't even launched it. What are you going on about? And I was like, none. And he's like, so you haven't sold any, so you failed already. And literally I sat there like, Oh my word, he's right. I failed because I haven't sold any. And then he literally sat there and went, so let's say for instance tomorrow you open the car and you started selling that course and no one bought it. What would actually happen?

Speaker 1: (17:20)

And I was like, I'd look like an idiot. And he's like, no, forget that because How does anybody know? And you know, no one would think you're an idiot. What would actually happen physically happen? And I was like, well, nothing. He said, would you lose loads of money? And I was like, not really. I've probably a little bit in Facebook ads, but I'm only talking like 50 to a 100 pounds. And he said, and the time it took me to create the course and he's like, and would anybody die? And I was like, no. And he's like, so why haven't you done it? And I just thought, I've just sat here for what felt like probably six months sat on this course that was completed by the way. It wasn't like it was literally sat there. I just had to open the car and I just hadn't done anything because I was so scared.

Speaker 1: (18:06)

Scared of what people would think, scared that someone might look at it and go, it's rubbish. Scared that someone might ask for a refund, scared that they won't even buy it in the first place. And I just realised that this fear had held me back so, so much. So I don't think it was a conscious decision at that point. I think I got more comfortable with it over time, but I have now got to a point, like I said at the beginning, what actually I'm not scared to fail. In fact, failing is a really good sign that I am trying and I am working towards my goals because I can't control some of those goals. I can't control necessarily that I can always afford to fly first class because I don't know how much my income is at this point or you know, I can't control necessarily that I'm going to get that income.


My ‘Scary’ Experiences of Facing Failure Head On


Speaker 1: (18:52)

But what I can control are the actions I'm taking to get me there. And I want to give you some examples of things that I've done that have been slightly terrifying and I would have been too scared to do them and I've done them. So the first one, and if you're on my email list, you'll know this because I emailed it out a few weeks ago. The first one is that I asked Seth Godin's come onto the podcast. Okay, so if you don't know Seth Godin, he's very big in the marketing space. He's written a number of very successful books and he has gone on podcasts like James Wedmore's, Amy Porterfield's, he's gone on some really big podcasts and he's really big. And I just thought, do you know what? I'm just going to ask him and what's the worst that can happen? And this is what I ask myself all the time now.

Speaker 1: (19:38)

Honestly, what's the worst that can happen? So the worst thing is, and when you think about the physical action of it, I am literally going to find an email address or I'm going to find a contact form. I'm going to type in an email that says, Hey Seth, would you, let's come on the podcast that you'd be brilliant and I'm going to hit send. So physically it takes no work at all. And then I will read the response when it comes. And if he says no, I'll go, okay, cool. Thank you though. If he doesn't respond then no worries. And if he comes back and says yes, what a result. So I hit send and within minutes I had a response from him and he wrote a very lovely, very polite email back saying, thank you so much. I really appreciate you asking. However, I am very busy right now doing the launch or something he was launching and therefore I just don't have time.

Speaker 1: (20:23)

And you know what? Absolutely fine because I can take so many other things from that. I can take the fact that I did it regardless of what the outcome was going to be. So if I've asked Seth Godin the chances of me asking the other people and now feeling so much more achievable. The other thing is he saw my name, he may for a millisecond, might know who I am when I emailed again and ask again. So for me wasn't a lot at all. I was really happy the fact that I'd been brave enough to do it.


So let me give you another example that actually really paid off. So I was obviously going through my social media and checking my notifications and I noticed that a Twitter account, and it happened on Facebook too. The same account had find my TEDx talk and they've gone and tweeted it and said, and they said something nice about the TEDx talk about, you know, great talk by Teresa or whatever, didn't know who these people were.

Speaker 1: (21:16)

But the title of the page was World's Marketing Summit, you know, pretty full on title hair. So I thought, let me go and have a look at this World's Marketing Summit. And I go on just being nosy as you do. And I happen to see that it's an event being run in the UK. It's a one day event and it's hosted and the keynote speaker is Philip Kotler. Now if you went and did a marketing degree like I did at university, you would know that Philip Kotler is the godfather of marketing. Likw honestly, Seth is amazing, but Philip Kotler is the guy that every university in the UK and maybe even in the States teaches about, and he's the guy who talks about the four principles of marketing that then turned into the seven P's of marketing. And I'm, you read a book called the Principles of Marketing, which is his book.

Speaker 1: (22:04)

And like I said, he's huge and he was at this event, he's going to be speaking keynoting and it's his event. And I was like, wow, that's amazing. Like they just tweeted me and they just mentioned me on Facebook and it's Phillip Kotler's event. The other thing I started looking down and it was like, Lord Digby Jones is going to be speaking there and professors so and so. And professor so and so and I was like, gosh, this is a pretty full on event. Like this is massive in terms of the speakers that they've got going and the calibre and the quality of them. So anyway, I thought to myself like, wouldn't that be amazing? Speak there. And I literally just thought again, what's the worst that can happen? The worst that can happen as they can go. No thank you, we are good. So found their details online, sent them an email, sent them my media kit and said, listen, you've just tweeted this.

Speaker 1: (22:57)

I didn't write, listen obviously that'd be a very rude way to start an email. And then it just tweeted or put up, this on my, on Facebook. And I wanted to thank you for sharing it. It was really kind of view and just as a side, I don't suppose you're still looking for any speakers, are you, because I would love to speak, I obviously know who Philip Kotler is. I have a degree at, you know, in marketing. Anyway, I get this email back saying, could we have a chat on the phone about it? And I was like, okay, so they've phoned me up and we have a conversation and it was like so easy. It was scary. Like I literally thought, Oh, hang on a minute, something's, they're going to tell me I've got to pay loads of money to speak or something is like, he's going to go to the end and be like, we're only joking. As if. Like, honestly, it just felt so easy. So I spoke to Katie, my assistant, and I was like, Oh my goodness, I think I might be speaking at this event. And I said, I'm not gonna say anything until it's like on the site. It's confirmed. I'm definitely speaking and I am very pleased to say that it is on the site. And honestly when you scroll through it's like professor, professor, professor, oh me, professor, professor like and a little bit, I'm like, Oh man, am I bad at my death? And I hope not. I don't think I am. I think that I love speaking and I hope that I'm a good speaker. I'm sure. Well, I sent them videos so they've definitely seen me speak. But, but yeah, like honestly, if they had been six months ago, 12 months ago, there's not a cat in hell's chance.

Speaker 1: (24:26)

I would have even contacted them to ask, let alone being so direct and said I would like to speak and look at that. I've got this opportunity now to speak alongside the guy whose book I learn in university because he's so well renowned in marketing. Like honestly you just don't know. So the whole point of this episode, and I hope it's been useful, but the whole point in this episode is to kind of get you into that mindset of the questions I ask myself, is anybody going to die? What's the worst that can happen? Like, because honestly, if it's only my ego is going to take a bit of a bruising, then so be it. Whatever. The fact is, you're not even having a chance of speaking somewhere, being featured somewhere, interviewing someone in particular if you don't even ask them. So or if you don't even put yourself out there in order to try and do this.

Speaker 1: (25:23)

So I want you to learn from my mistakes that I spent probably the first two or three years in my business, not necessarily moving in the direction I wanted to go, which let's face it, if I had done at that time, if I was brave enough just to go and do it, at that point, I might be in a very different position. Now, I am a true believer of you're exactly where you need to be. So obviously for whatever reason, it wasn't necessarily the right time, but I know for sure that I was the one that held that back. I was the one that was too scared to put myself out there for risk of what people might say for risk of what people might think and that people wouldn't want what I was offering. And honestly, I don't want you to do the same.

Speaker 1: (26:10)

I don't want you to miss out on an opportunity that could be amazing, can take your business to the next level or miss the fact of you don't want to ask because you're too scared and you're thinking, but what if they say no? But I want you to think, what if they say yes? What for one second if you ask that big scary, terrifying thing and they actually come back and go, yeah, we'd love to, or yes, please do that or whatever is. So I just wanted you to kind of address that today. I hope you've enjoyed it. I hope it's helped. Please do come and let me know. I love hearing from you. As you well know, I love getting your DM's. I love getting your Insta stories and honestly so many of you reach out and I really do appreciate that cause it's so, so good to hear from you. So anyway, hopefully that's helped. They, it's a little bit different. Next week we have got a rockstar interview, Michael Hyatt. Oh my word, is on the podcast. This guy is a business genius and is so successful. He's a New York best selling author. He's honestly, and he's just such a nice guy. I had the most loveliest chat with him. So do go check out next week's, it's going to be brilliant. Okay. Have an amazing week and I will see then!