Today’s episode of the podcast is an interview with Aneta Ardelian Kuzma, where we are talking all about how can we align our daily choices in order to help us achieve our goals.
Aneta is a holistic life coach, executive coach, wellness expert, and yoga, meditation, and breathwork teacher. She is the host of the podcast Live the Width of Your Life. On her show, she explores what it means to live life more fully, with intention, gratitude, and joy.
She also recently published her first book, titled Live the Width of Your Life: 365 Daily Meditations on living with purpose, passion, and peace. Her passion is helping others to create lives of purpose, passion, and peace.
KEY TAKEAWAYS COVERED IN THE PODCAST
- Productivity habits and rituals to help you be more successful
- Setting boundaries and protecting your energy as a busy business owner
- How to know when you're being kind to yourself and when you're self sabotaging
LINKS TO RESOURCES MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE
Check out Aneta's website
Teresa: Hello and welcome to this week's episode of the Your Dream Business Podcast. How are you doing? So I hope you've had a good week and actually by the time this recording comes out, it's really early January. So I'm wondering whether you've done your goals, whether you've sorted out what you're going to do for this year.
If so, and even if you haven't, this is going to be a great episode for you because my amazing guest today is going to be talking about how we can break down those Goals so that we can create daily actions to align with what we want from our dream life and what we want from our dream business. So I am very excited to introduce today Aneta Kuzma. How are you doing Aneta?
Aneta: I'm so well, Teresa. Thank you so much for having me on the show.
Teresa: My pleasure. So I was introduced to you cause I did your podcast and it's always so lovely when we can do like a podcast swap because it's like. You don't just get to have one conversation. You get to have a couple and that's really, really nice.
Aneta: I love it. And I love that our communities get to participate in these conversations with us as they listen afterwards.
Teresa: Yes. Do you know what I did once that was such a good thing? And I should really do it again. I did a two part podcast with someone else. So part one was on mine and part two was on theirs. That's such a cool idea.
Aneta: I love it. Such a great idea.
Teresa: It was really, really good. And again, introducing people to each other's podcasts and stuff. It was really cool. Anyway. Anyway. And this, I would like you to introduce yourself and explain to us how you got to do what you do today.
Aneta: Sure. So, and that's a Kuzma and, it's interesting.
I used to be in banking. So I would say the short story of my life is that I was the type of person who just followed all the rules. I did what I thought was expected, you know, went to the right school and got a good education and started my family and found a great job. And I wanted to work for a company that I could grow into the company and my career and raise a family.
And, at some point during that time, I recognized that this was probably not where I wanted to finish my career. I still had another chapter in me. So. In my mid forties, I hired a coach and I really wanted to figure out what do I want to do? What is my purpose? What is my mission? And I say purpose with a little P it doesn't have to be a big one.
We typically get overwhelmed with that. And so, I started my own coaching and consulting business. And when I started my business, I said, I want to build a business that is so aligned to who I am, that is just allows me to take all the things I'm super passionate about and pull them all together. So I do a lot of one on one coaching, my, I do group coaching.
I also teach yoga, meditation, and breath work. I think I continue to expand and add to the things that I do. And as Teresa mentioned, I have a podcast and, I'm also also an author and, Really what I love to do is I help people, typically professionals and entrepreneurs identify what is it that is a successful life for them?
How do you redefine success? And then as you said, what we're gonna talk about today is how do you take daily aligned actions to build that life and help you achieve all of your goals?
Teresa: Love it. Love it. Love it. So a couple of things. Banking to breathwork, it's not a natural alignment really, is it? Or does it appear to be?
Was that like, did it feel like when you were in banking that something was not right?
Aneta: Yeah. So I've been a yoga practitioner since, you know, my twenties, so for a very long time. And so definitely early adopter of that and meditation, always very interested in spirituality and took a lot of comparative religion courses in college.
And so I always felt like there were two separate parts of me and now I get to integrate them, which is, you know, the spiritual inquisitive, curious part, and then also the professional part. And what I love to share with people is that it's not either, or it could be, and, and you can build an integrated and balanced life.
And you get to define what that looks like. So while I was in banking, people knew that I was going through yoga teacher training and that if I had the door closed, I was meditating. So it definitely wasn't a secret towards the end. It was at the beginning, but once I knew I was going to be leaving, eventually, I just started to bring more of myself to where I was.
Teresa: Yeah, I love that. And I love the fact of sometimes the, what would appear the polar ends of the spectrum, there is space for all of it. And, yes. And I guess we need to get into a position and a confidence within ourselves that actually we can show up as those alternate versions of us, and that's okay, you know, we are complex human beings and it doesn't actually matter if we like one thing, but it means that we like another that isn't normally associated or seen as a natural fit with the other, we can be complex in that way.
Aneta: We can and, and we get to redefine what's okay. Right? Like, I remember, you know, there was no issue with people talking about training for a marathon and, and running, you know, and so there are certain things that they were okay with, or if people were part of a, you know a sports team or something like that, but there are certain things that, especially on the spirituality side, where we just sort of didn't necessarily talk about it.
And I do see that now people are much more curious and open to talking about all kinds of different things.
Teresa: And I love that you use the word curious and you've used it a couple of times, because that's how I see it. Right. So like, I quite like to dabble into that side of the world. And my thing is, I'm just interested and I'm curious about it.
And if it helps or benefits me in some way, then great. let's, you know, I am happy to go with it. Like I don't need all the explanations. I don't need to the debate of it. I don't necessarily need, I do like the science of stuff and I do like to research that. However, I'm also just open to going, Oh, let's see what happens.
That's cool. You know? And there's something really nice about that.
Aneta: Oh, I agree. And I do think that in society, we're starting to see, as you said, the science, connecting to some of these ancient practices that work, but even as we think about breaking things into action plans, for example, right? That used to be maybe under a self help stage or something that was considered a little bit different.
And I do think that people are starting to say, what are the practices that can help me? And, let me see what works as you said.
Teresa: Yeah, exactly. And as far as I'm concerned, you know, if it doesn't harm anybody else and you're enjoying it, then do what the hell you want, you know, go with it, go with it. I just want to touch on as well, your book and, tell us what the title of your book is.
Aneta: Yeah, it's right there. It's called Live the Width of Your Life: 365 Daily Meditation on Living with Purpose, Passion, and Peace. And, I wrote the book because one of the things that I discovered and even about myself is so many of us read books, we consume a lot of data and information and we have bookshelves filled with them and we don't necessarily take the daily action then to apply those things to our life.
And so when I was writing a book, I said, you know, I love reading. Daily devotionals or reading my daily stoic or reading, just inspirational books, whether they're secular or not. And, so I wanted to write something that was easily digestible. And so every day there is a content maybe 1 page worth, and then there's a journal prompt or a challenge so that you can do something with the information to spend some time in reflection or even take an action.
So if the theme is gratitude, you could do a great gratitude practice, or maybe reach out to someone, tell them what they mean to you, et cetera. And over the course of the year, you should have seen a transformational shift in your life.
Teresa: Love it. That's so good. And you're right. I, I inhale books, but I remember a little bit small of them, but have they, they had a profound effect on the point in which I was reading them.
And then you put them down and you move on to the next one. Also, I'd like you just explain your title, what you mean by living the width of your life.
Aneta: Yeah, that's a great question. So, it came, it comes from a quote by Diane Ackerman. And when I first saw the quote, I thought, wow, what does she mean by living the width?
And so I defined it, for myself, although I think everyone has a different definition. For me, it means that we do not get to control how many days we are alive. We don't, we do not know we can do the things to try to create this beautiful, long life. But we can control what we do with the width of every single day.
And so you can be, you know, go through the day super present and mindful and curious and filled with gratitude and thanks and all these things that are beautiful. Or you can wish the day away and wait for the weekend or your next vacation or things, you know, these big moments in life. So I think living the width means treating every single day, just like you would, any of the big moments in life that we sometimes wait for or plan.
Teresa: Yeah. I love that so much. Like, You know exactly what you've said. You dunno how long you're on here. Yeah. You know, you don't know. We do wish so much of our lives away. We do think, oh, when I just get here or when I just get that, or if I can just have this. Yeah. And the truth is the way humans are designed, we get there and we want something else and there's Mm-Hmm.
in one way. There's nothing wrong with that. Like, I like having an ambitious side of me. However, it's that taking in the moment and going, but look at where we are here and look at how this is. And yeah, I just love that. There's a quote that I should actually remember. I was a co author in a book, right?
And I had to, and I wrote this chapter on basically what? What creating their dream business looks like and what it means for them. And I use this quote, which I found on a podcast or I heard on a podcast and basically it was something along the lines of, and I'm going to make sure we, I'm in the show notes cause I do a terrible job with it every time, but it was something like if this was all my life was, could I be okay with that?
And basically like the podcast episode was around happiness and it was, it's basically saying, so if this is all that it was like, if, if my life didn't move on from here, if I never got a bigger house, if I didn't get a bigger garden, I really want a bigger garden. I want lots of land. I grew vegetables.
But like, if this was it. Would I be okay with it? And the truth is, I absolutely would. Like, it doesn't mean I don't want more. It doesn't mean that I haven't got the ambition for more. But I would be okay. And it, that quote seems to sit really nicely with the, the concept of enjoying it and taking it in and making it as wonderful as possible.
But knowing and being okay with the fact that we want to move on and do other things, but we're taking, we're not taking now for granted. We're not taking every day for granted. We're not wishing our life away or thinking we will be different. Life will be different. Something else will be different if, and when we get to the next big thing.
Aneta: Oh my gosh. I love everything you said about that. And, when I talk to people and I ask them, do you feel like your life is in balance, or do you feel like you're living this integrated life? Many people can say no, but they don't necessarily have a definition of what that is. And that's where I said, and I recognize with my clients, it's you will be in balance when your daily choices align to your life values.
And I think that goes back to what you were saying is, do you fill each day with joy? Do you, spend time with the people that you care about? Do you make time for self care things that make you feel good? Do you spend enough time in quiet and reflection or resting if you need to? And when you start to think about being able to incorporate more of the things that you seek, that you need, that you want, that you value every day, and you're not going to have the same amount of time every day. You will then be able to say, yeah, this is a pretty good life.
Teresa: Yeah. And I think as well, like some people might be listening to this going, Oh, it's okay for you to say that you've got blah, blah, blah, but that's the beauty of it. It's not about, you know, it's about being able to recognize that, you know, other people might have what I want.
You know, someone out there has a four acres of land and a pig and some chickens, and I really want that. But it doesn't mean that my life now isn't amazing and beautiful and lovely as it is right now, you know, it's, it's appreciating that. And I think doing that more and more, and I try and teach my daughter gratitude all the time.
Because I think there, especially in a world where, Well, just the fact the world they're brought up in is you deserve more. You should have more. Everything is immediate. You get it straight away. And I just think sometimes slowing her down and going, do you know how much we have, do you know how amazing it is that we've got what we've got?
And, you know, I think is, is a good thing. Anyway. So I'm so glad I asked that question about the title, because it's such a good point. And, and even if you take nothing else from this podcast, which I know you will, that is exactly the point to take. So obviously. The amazing people who listen to me and have done for years know, I am all about the goal setting and I, my November and December are always very busy filled with walking people through processes and different things in order to get them ready to do their goals and to help them with their goals.
And one of the things that people really struggle with is turning those goals into actual things or creating the life that is going to get them or help them get close to that goals. And one of the things that we do and I do is I help them break it down into actions. But I'm really fascinated to understand your point of view on how can we align our daily choices in order to help us get towards those goals.
Aneta: Yes. Oh my gosh. I love talking about this. This is something I do with my clients. I always start with a vision. I always say start big and work backwards. And so I love starting with a vision. And I take people through a vision of what do you want your life to look like? And this is looking at not just your career or maybe just relationships or because we typically focus on a couple of areas of our life, but we really, we could expand beyond that.
Look at our health, which is mental, physical, spiritual, emotional, look at relationships, look at your home environment, look at you know, your career, your finances, growth and development, whatever is really important to you. And let's just define what that looks like. What is the life you really want to live and allow yourself to dream?
Like I always say, dream big. Better to start there. And then we work backwards about five years and then one to three years. And then we start getting into more, tactical plans and saying, what are the goals that, or the steps that will get you to that vision? And so once we do that and we kind of have the steps that we need to get there and becomes more granular, there are a couple of things that I always tell people is that.
We have to show up every day and we have to show up in with the aligned choices. Now, I love using a planner and I'm gonna get real tactical here because I use my planner, I write in it every day and you know, there's so many good ones out there. I will create my own one day.
Teresa: That's on my list too.
Aneta: That's on my list. But we should talk about it.
We should. So I love starting with, you know, as you work backwards, I always do a month ahead and take a look and say, what are the big goals that I have for the month? Realistic, we have to get very smart about setting realistic goals in terms of what we're capable of achieving. And then when we get to the week, I use my Friday afternoons as an opportunity to do a reflection on the week before.
Yeah. And then to say, did I hit my goals? How did I feel? Was it sustainable did my schedule support me, did allow me to be successful and then I do a look ahead and so I don't have to go into the weekend worrying. I do like, let's Friday afternoons. Let's look ahead and see what is the upcoming week coming up?
What are my priorities? Do I have the right meetings on my calendar? Do I need to create some more space and time? And do I have time for all those things that I said were important? So that's where. You know,
Aneta: making sure you plug in the time to spend with family, making sure that you're not going out for a work event every single night.
And then you feel exhausted and you're not sleeping properly. Right? And so making sure that works out. And then Monday morning is a time just to check in again and just say, okay. What am I going to do? And then I use the planner every day for top priorities, you know, maybe three of them. What are the tasks?
And I always track all the self care, you know, am I drinking my water? How did I sleep? Am I moving my body today? What else came up? What is my intention? It's so important to set an intention for the day so that, you already are programming your mind and building that neural pathway. Like today, mine was hold the vision.
That's what I wrote. Hold the vision. And then always do a little bit of gratitude. So I want to pause because I know I just dumped a lot on you, but that's sort of my high level and we can go deep anywhere you'd like.
Teresa: Yeah, I love that. So first off, I think the, the, this is so similar to how I do it, which is so good in the sense of dream as big as you like.
And in some ways, like if they can't put a time limit on it, that's fine. So if they think. I have this amazing dream, but I honestly can't see that happening in 12 months or three years. That's fine. You don't have to put a time limit on it. You just know where you're going. And then even things like coming back to very practical stuff.
Like, so when I did my vision board years and years ago, one of the things I put on there was a particular car I wanted. And I actually went on and found how much that car cost per month. And I found out what it would be. And I spec'd it up and I did all that. And like, just even having that intention of, okay, well, that's what I'd need to bring in every month.
Well, that's the money I'd need to spend on that. But also things like, now would I show up if that already existed? So when I do, sometimes when I do this kind of vision stuff with people and they start the, so I'll say to them. And in fact, I haven't done this for ages. Like, imagine your perfect day.
So, where are you waking up? What are you doing? Like, you know, who's with you? What's your job looking like? Has, you know, ten sales coming overnight? Whatever it might be. And they will start by saying things like, you know, I wake up, I do a yoga practice, I do this, I da da da da, my sister blah blah blah blah.
And I'll be like, okay, which of those things could you literally do tomorrow?
Teresa: And, and as long as their season of life fits with it, because some of these people, you know, if they've got young children or whatever it might be, but. We, we have this vision for our future self that is like, and it's, it's fascinating the research behind this is also fascinating.
Like we disassociate our future self as us. So when we think about like putting off going to the gym or putting off doing yoga, like, well, future me will want to do yoga. No, no, no, future you will be pretty much the same future you that is the you now. So like, if you want to do that, if you genuinely believe that is part of your dream and your vision for your life, then start doing it.
Or what little things can you put in place right now to start moving towards doing some of those things? So I love that, the breaking down thing. The other thing that I think is so important is the planning out. I use the full focus planner, have done for years, really like it.
And one of the things it does, like you, is it says, review your previous week. And in all honesty, I'm really struggling with that recently. Like, and it'd be, I'd love to hear your thoughts on this if I was coming to you as one of your coaching clients. So I get to the end of every week. I normally do it on a Sunday as I'm like prepping for the week and it'll say to me, you know, what have you got on next week?
So you pick a big three. So every week I pick my big three and then it'll say to you, how did you get on with your big three? If you can hear paper shuffling people, this is because I'm literally looking at my planner. And then it will say, it gets you to do your biggest wins, which I love that because sometimes the big wins don't seem like big wins, but when you are forced to go, well, what good things happened this week?
You go, Oh yeah, no, some really cool stuff happened. But then it says, what worked, what didn't, what will you keep? Improve, start or stop doing. Every week, literally for this year, I think I've just written stay focused, stay focused, like, and, and I'm interested to your, how could I improve and use that better?
Like how, what suggestions would you have for really being able to put something there and learn from it?
Aneta: Well, what does stay focused mean?
Teresa: So for me. I sometimes get through a week and I'm not entirely sure how I got to Friday and what the hell I did in that week. Even though I've worked very hard and I sit at my desk every day and I, like, sometimes it just, it feels like, I guess slowing myself down to plan my day individually.
If I do that. I get a lot more done. It almost is a case of, if I'm not, and I guess the word is slow that I'm trying to think of, if I'm not purposely pulling myself back a bit and going, no, seriously, make a plan, write a plan, stay to that plan, stay on track, then, then my week literally goes by and goes, yeah, done, another week, brilliant.
And I, and the three things I've written on the list haven't even, being touched because it makes you write the percentage down of how much you've done. And one of my three things is 10 percent like they barely looked at it last week, but it was meant to be one of my big three things that I should be doing.
Aneta: Interesting. So I guess I would ask. Do you have any ritual set for when you were doing your planner? Like every day when you were showing up, what does that look like? Is it the same time? Are you sitting in the same space? Are you lighting a candle, drinking some tea? Like, what does it look like? Are you enjoying your planning time?
And is it, A moment of quiet reflection where you can really connect and go inward.
Teresa: So that's really interesting. So I'm a big fan of a morning routine and this year I've struggled. I've gone in and out of it a lot. And at the moment I'm out of it, which is unusual for me. I'm normally very good at it.
However, I would say, because I have this habit tracker that I track things, I think I'm almost, almost, and I'm doing it with my planner, going through the motions just to tick it off the habit tracker. So it goes, plan my day. Have I gone through and written down what meetings I've got in today and maybe what I need to do?
Yes. But I haven't done it properly. Like today I literally have all the meetings booked in and then the only action I have is that I need to make a doctor's appointment. So I've got to call them. There's not a single business action on there. And, and I know I need to do, and I have done way more than that so far today, but it's almost like just doing that bare minimum goes tick, done, move on.
And I'm probably not giving it that time and attention it deserves.
Aneta: Yeah, that definitely could be part of it. And I have found that creating a ritual around doing some of these things just makes it so much more enjoyable. And so for me, like right now I have a Christmas tree up and I have all the lights up and then I light a candle and I have my coffee and I sit in my favorite chair and I bring my blanket next to me, like I look forward to it.
And so it's not something I just take off, but it's more like. Ooh, what could feel so good today? What are the things that are important? Do I, can I carve out enough time to make sure that I do this? And so really giving yourself the space and you said it yourself, you know, the answer is to slow down, to be more intentional, to kind of set that.
And the other thing I found Teresa too, is sometimes when we get to those stages and we find ourselves maybe not being as disciplined with our devotion, I say, I always reread my vision, like your vision that you wrote should be so inspiring and mine just makes me cry. Right? Cause I'm like, Oh, this life is so beautiful.
And when you do that, it then also. Allows you to make sure that you're treating every day is an opportunity to get closer to that. So sometimes just making sure that you're reading your vision. I read mine weekly, I don't know, or as needed as well. So I don't know if you're spending enough time in your vision too.
Teresa: So let's touch on that because I've never written a vision. I have a vision board which is full of loads of different stuff and they make it like, I genuinely look at it and it's like, oh that makes me so excited. I obviously have a vision for my life in my head, but I've never written it. so how do you like, let's just talk about all the stuff around that. How'd you do it? What's included?
Aneta: Yeah, I have. So I created a template and it's basically, and with my clients, it's, we do, we first start with the baseline and I ask everyone, like, let's take a look at 1 through 10. How satisfied are you with these areas of your life? And let's just pick health, for example, because a lot of people want to feel healthier, mental, physical, emotional, spiritual, and they might say.
A five or a six and I say, well, what does a 10 look like for you? What would it look like to feel so optimally healthy? And then they envision what that is. They speak it out loud. I would feel fit. I would go to the gym every day. I would feel really healthy. I'd be drinking my water. I'd be sleeping better, all these things.
And so I create a template with prompts that then they, after we do the visioning where they write it out and it turns into the basically like a life manifesto. In the present tense, as if it's already happened, like you are living this life. So it does combine pieces of the perfect day, as you mentioned, but into a much bigger life vision.
And the first one I did was actually in grad school. Even though I went to like, I got my MBA, like we had a class that was all on life and, it was like emotional intelligence class and it was a 20 page paper we had to write.
Aneta: Super deep. This one's not as long, but when you have that life vision and it's a living, breathing document that you read. Your yearly or annual vision boards, which I create too.
And I'm staring at mine cause mine's in my office here. It aligns to that. And you know, it's like a moment in time as part of that big vision. And things may come off or things may come on to your vision as you know, you experience life and you try new things. I thought I wanted to create courses for colleges.
Like I did teach at university and I did that. And I was like, that's not really what I want to do going forward. So I took it off, but I save every time I make a change, I save it with a new date. So I can always go back and read, excuse me, the first time that I wrote it.
Teresa: I love that. I love, and I love seeing the progression as well, because I think sometimes we, we do these things and when we move on from them and move on from them, we forget how far we've come.
And it was really interesting. I did a vision board exercise at my last in person event and I was helping them create their vision boards and I showed them my current vision board. And while I was there, I went back to find my original vision board and it was so cool to basically go tick, tick, tick. Like, and some stuff never came to fruition and actually now I look at it and go, no, I didn't want that too in the end.
Like, so I think seeing those things and seeing those changes is a really, really important. I love that. The other thing that you've just kind of made me think is, we do an activity, a Wheel of Life activity in the club. And this is one that I do with my coaching clients a lot. And that is kind of what you're talking about, isn't it?
But it's taking the answers to the wheel of life, because we do ask that question. We go, where are you now? What would 10 look like? What would that be? So it's basically taking the answers to those things and turning it into a document, more of a kind of, this is where it is.
Aneta: Writing it all down so you can continue to read it and to reference it.
Teresa: Yeah. I love that. The other thing I wrote down while you were talking the first time was a wrote down vitality plan. Now we do an activity called the vitality plan and basically, for those of you who are not sure, not heard of it for it's basically takes the key areas in your life and it almost writes you a prescription for the best version of you.
So for instance, it would say, nutrition, like, and this isn't, this isn't a like a bat to put around your head when you're not doing well, or this isn't kind of thing to go, you must eat healthily. You must exercise three times a week. You, it's not that at all. It's what makes me the best version of me.
So for me, Obviously drinking water. It's a fairly standard one, but it is. So on the vitality plan, I write down what will help me drink water. So I have on my desk, I'm just showing, on the camera there, a jug of water. If I don't fill that jug up, I don't drink water. So it's almost like weird that it's that connection is now stuck.
And it's like, I need the jug to drink my water. But once it's sat on my desk, I drink it. But we look at things like, like I said, nutrition and fitness or movement. And again, movement in my vitality plan is not as high or as not as big as someone else's because I don't need that at this point to be the best version of me.
Like, I know it's important. I know I should like do some, however. If you said to me what makes me the best version, that is not dependent on that. But one thing that was really interesting, and you mentioned it when you talked about the the week and looking at your week and looking at your diary and the month ahead, and I think we need to do more of this, is planning out your activities and thinking about your energy.
So I don't know about you, but. I find that if I'm speaking at an event or I'm holding my own event in person, the next couple of days I am done for. Like I bring all the energy I have the best time. I love it. But when I stop, I hit the deck and I am done.
Aneta: Oh yeah. And that is so important to know whether you are.
An introvert or an extrovert. Cause some people that are extroverts, they thrive on that. Like they just get so much energy from other people. That's not me. I feel like I give a lot. And so I need time to recuperate. I need time to rest. I need time to just be by myself afterwards. So planning is so critical to making sure that we're okay for those things.
And that's why this time of the year is so bizarre because I always feel like I need more time to reflect to get ready for the holidays to kind of wind down and I find myself so busy, which actually does not feel good. And I do this to myself all the time because I don't do a great job setting up those clear and healthy boundaries always, but it is so important to be able to do.
And you're not going to be able to do that. If you don't look ahead. Like you won't, you'll just wake up that morning going, Oh my gosh, I'm in meetings from this time to this time. And then I have an after work event and then tomorrow I've got an early morning. And then you're already starting to panic, right? You could feel that the nervous system is starting to get a little bit pinged already.
Teresa: And knowing as well, like, so one of the things that I do all the time is I like all meetings to be on the same day. But, and that's good for my energy because I'm not very good at focusing and our brain isn't designed to do this to jump from one activity to the other.
So if I can back to back similar activities, then that's what I do. However, because I like to put them all in the same day, I will end up with like, Seven meetings back to back all day. And my husband will say to me, like, what have you got on today? And I'd be like, Oh, I've got this and this and this. And he's like, and who the hell booked all that in for you? Knowing full well, it was me.
Aneta: What is that about? It's so funny because I do that too. I tend to like to coach Tuesday, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and then leave more space on Fridays and Mondays for strategy and time, but. There has to be a limit. Like you said, it is not healthy to do, you know, seven podcast interviews or seven coaching calls or anything, because we do need to protect our energy.
And, the stat I think is 52 minutes on 17 minutes off for the optimal way that our brain works. And so just, that's why, breaks are so critical. So even if you do stack things, make sure that you're giving yourself enough time in between to take a break.
Teresa: And I think going back to the realisticness as well.
So for instance, sometimes when I do, and in fact, one of the things on my three things for this week is just to get through my calls because I have a really busy week of calls and pretty much I'm blocked out most of the week on various different calls doing various different things. So I'm not going to suddenly chuck in a massive project as one of my big three things because I know that there is no way on this earth I could get that done.
One of the things I do, and it works particularly well with parents, but it would work for anybody is sometimes We seriously overestimate what we can get done in a day, but underestimate what we can get done in a year. And one of the things that we do is I will get them to get their diary in front of them for the month, then I'll get them to knock out all of the days where the children aren't at school, which pretty much most months there's something.
Like, okay, so are you going to be working? Are you going to be just doing a few hours? Are, you know, are you not working at all? So scrub all those days off, scrub all the weekends off. Then what hours are you actually working? So are you doing the school run? So if you are. you might get home for nine, but realistically you're not actually starting till about half nine, maybe even 10, depending on like what you've already done that morning.
Then you've got X amount of work hours. What time are you going to finish? And then I get them to like, look at that over the month and then realistically go, how much time have you actually got? And. And although I'm always one for pushing and going, you know, can we do a bit more? Can we try a bit harder?
I'm also trying to balance that with realism of there is no point saying to yourself, I'm going to get this activity done that takes 20 hours this week. And yet I don't even have 20 hours. So again, like on today, I've got a couple of little gaps in between my calls, but like they're not even 30 minutes.
And so therefore. All that is doing is me getting up, getting another drink, getting some food, filling up my water, going to the bathroom. And I'm not expecting to do anything in those times because I know it's not realistic to expect that.
Aneta: Yeah. I'm so glad that you're not trying to like just jam more work in.
And I tell my clients that all the time too, is if you're intentional with your choices, Releasing all judgment. Like if you look at your calendar and you think, I do not have much time to go to the gym today, but I have 10 minutes here. I'll do some breathing exercises. Maybe I'll go outside, get some fresh air.
You can determine what you do with those small moments and you can celebrate that like with intention. You can say, I know I can't do this today, but this is what I choose to do instead and celebrate that. We're just so hard on ourselves. Sometimes we just think, oh, I didn't get to do this or I didn't start this.
So I didn't get enough traction, but if it's not realistic, it's much better to say, what will I do instead with that time that could feel good. And then make sure you have scheduled enough time tomorrow or later in the week or readjusted your priorities, right? If you find yourself constantly in that same situation.
Teresa: Yeah. Yeah. Okay. So I'm super conscious about time, but I've got, I've got a final question to ask you. Again. I'm just picking your brain for me now. So as I mentioned, I am super good. I'll have. Historically, I'm super good at a morning routine, habit tracking, doing all those things, and my stuff would say like, meditate, journal, plan my day, drink water, take my supplements, I'm just trying to think what else, oh, I do some occasional tapping, see the sunlight, like, things like this. And like I said, in the last kind of few weeks, I have really struggled to get into it, to the point where I haven't done a habit tracker for right now. And I started it for December and then it kind of fell by the wayside.
So now I'm in two minds. Do I take it as a sign that actually I don't want that right now? Or maybe I need to mix it up, or maybe I need to find a different way, or do I go, this is me trying to sabotage my own success, and I know I'm better when I do all these things, and I feel better, and I work harder, and I'm more focused, and I just need to kind of like whip myself back into action and go for it again. If someone's in that position, what would you say?
Aneta: So first thing I want to know is how is your sleep?
Teresa: Really okay. Yeah, not too bad. We like, I try and go to sleep by about 10 and I'm up at six.
Aneta: Okay. So you, that hasn't changed significantly. Okay. Are you waking up in the morning with energy?
Teresa: Not too bad, actually. Yeah, not too bad.
Aneta: Okay, good. So I would rule that out first, because if we're not getting sleep, nobody's going to do a morning routine. And I would say, let's fix that first. What of those activities are your favorite things to do?
Teresa: The meditation.
Teresa: Yeah. And then I, the funny thing is, weird thing, I do like them all.
I don't like taking my supplements. I hate taking my supplements. But yeah, like the meditation, the journaling, the planning, yeah, those I like.
Aneta: Okay. So what are you doing instead of your morning routine?
Teresa: See, this is the interesting thing. Nothing. Nothing. Sitting on Instagram, scrolling, which I do not do. And then, really lazily getting ready, taking a very slow, or thinking to myself, because normally my routine is I wake, I meditate, then I get out of bed. And then, and then I do the journaling and the planning when I'm at my desk with a coffee. And not what I'm doing now is I wake up and I start messing on my phone, which is the first problem.
And then I'm like, Oh, I'll get up and I'll just get ready. And I'll take some time and I'll listen to some podcasts and doing it. And then it never happens because then I've gone downstairs. I've got a coffee. I've come to my desk. I've started looking at stuff already. So then I get to today and it's like nearly two o'clock in the afternoon and I've not done any of them.
Aneta: Yeah. And so I think you've answered your own question. So first thing I would say is. Don't pick up your phone for at least an hour. Yeah. Anytime we start consuming someone else's agenda before working on our own, we're done. . And that's what happens, right? We are stimulating our system. We're not slowly waking up.
We are not, you're not going within for the answers. You're not allowing yourself to connect to a line. You are, being distracted. Right? And these are seductive distractions. So I'd say put that away. And don't look at your phone and then ask yourself, how do I make it like, so exciting for my morning routine?
Like, what does it look like for you? Do you want new candles where you meditate? Do you want a new cushion? Do you, you know, is it. Do you enjoy where it is? Do you need a new playlist? Whatever it is, like, how can you make it better? And as you ease back into it, I would say, create an abbreviated version of that morning routine as you ease back in and say.
This week I want to do half an hour and for me that would feel so good to start with my meditation, maybe a little bit of gratitude. Maybe then I would ease into my planning, whatever it is and choose to say this is this feels good right now. I'm reentering and this is going to feel good. Next week, I'm going to add a little bit more once I get, you know, 1 percent better every day.
And, don't try to do everything all at once. And if you don't like taking your supplements in the morning, my God, take them at another time when you're eating or, you know, with your smoothie or whatever else feels good. But I think it starts with the phone. I think that definitely is what kind of got you off your routine.
Teresa: I think you're right. And I have the excuse in my head, which. It's kind of a good excuse, but also, you know. I, my daughter doesn't live with me in the week because she goes to school and, she stays with her dad when she's over in school. And therefore I always think, Oh, well, I must check it first thing in the morning to check she's okay.
Like the girl's 14. She's, you know, she's absolutely fine. But there's always that thing of like overnight, let me check. But the problem is the minute I pick it up and I see those notifications and the thing is all I'm looking for is anybody tried to call me. Like, because if it was serious enough, someone would try and call me, but the problem is then I'm in it.
And one thing I want to say as well about this whole conversation, which is so good and so good a reminder to everybody else. I teach this stuff and I still need someone to tell me.
Aneta: Of course.
Teresa: I need the reminders. I need the conversation. I need the, you know, the kind of damn it, I fell off the, like, you know, wagon again and this is where I am.
That, so for me, the couple of things are, one, this is never just a one and done. Like in any of this stuff, it's never just, yeah, I've learned that now. I never need to go back on it. The chances are we need to constantly remind ourselves to put ourselves first, to do the things that really benefit us. The other thing that you said, which is so good, because this is so not me, is when I write a morning routine, on my habit tracker, there's like 11 things.
Aneta: Right. It's a lot.
Teresa: Yeah. Right. And I am, I am the person that used to set New Year's resolutions and would literally have a page of them and obviously wouldn't do any of them because I had a page of them. And it was, it was like, I'm suddenly going to be an entirely different person next year from the person I've been this year.
That one day of saying Happy New Year is suddenly going to change me as a human. So, I really love the gentleness of, okay. And, and that was the problem because in my head, I'm like, I just need to print off the habit track and write it all again. And it's like, no, I just need to add the meditation back in.
I just need to stop picking that up and starting straight with that. And I just need to meditate for a bit. And then maybe slow myself down with the planning. And maybe the journaling I go back to like once or twice a week to begin with. But I love the idea of introducing those things back in. And I just want to say one final thing, and then I'll come to you and see if there's anything else.
But the reason we talk about this stuff is because we are running our businesses. So if we can't show up as the best version of us, if we can't make sure that we are in the best possible place we can be, then we are, you know, it's, it's a, I don't, I can't remember what the word is, but it's like a false.
Like idea that rest is a waste of time or take doing these things are a waste of time. They are not. They are the difference between being focused, being productive, being disciplined to get stuff done. And that's why I witter on so much about doing these things. It's so important.
Aneta: It's so important and to, I wanted to simplify it maybe as in closing for poke says, I always say one of my superpowers is kind of combining the feminine and masculine energies, right.
And, or devotion and discipline. And so when I'm in devotion, my meditation, My yoga, my breath work, walking outside, whatever that looks like for you, the things that really nourish your soul, you then will take the aligned action, which is the discipline you will do the things you need to do. And if you are exhausted or burned out, take a look at your devotion and see if you're spending enough time.
If you are spending way too much time in devotion. And you're stuck and you're not taking any action, no discipline at all. Take a look and see what are you doing that is prompting where you stuck? What are the things that maybe are, don't feel good, aren't aligned, et cetera. And ask yourself, are those the right actions?
Because you can have those goals. Like you said, those new year's resolutions, but if you're not spending enough time asking yourself why and what's most important, you probably won't do any of them or maybe just a few of them.
Teresa: Yeah, I love it. Aneta, thank you so much. I love chatting with you. And it's so nice to like have these conversations and I, and I hope people appreciate or not appreciate that sounded funny, but I hope it helps people hearing me be honest.
And having you help me, because like I said, this isn't, you know, you will have a coach, you know, we all have coaches. We have these people and we come back to these things all the time. And it's like, even in therapy, it's like, God, have we not dealt with this yet? Like sometimes I'm like, I am exhausted talking about this.
Can we, am I not over this already? But these things take time and they take, and sometimes we have to keep coming back and revisiting them to remind ourselves how important it is because. And the way that you know, when we think about like neural pathways, we have built that, that neural pathway, which is now like a highway for years and years and years and years.
And we are trying to develop this new habit, which means instead of going down that really well lit, stunning motorway looking road, we're trying to like maneuver our way down this really dark, dingy, grown over little path. And we will always want to go back to that motorway. We'll always want to go back to that well trodden path that we've always done, which is why we need to constantly, you know, we're fighting hard to be over here and it gets a bit easier.
And then something drops us back into there and we have to go, okay, let's lift ourselves back out of there and let's go down the scary path again, because then I'll start to develop those kinds of muscles that mean it's second nature to me. So yeah, I love it. And thank you so, so much. Where can people come and find you if they want to say hi.
Aneta: Sure. You can find me on my website, AnnettaKuzma.com, A N E T A K U Z M A, and you'll find access there to my programs, to my book, to all of my social media handles as well. And I would love for you to say hello.
Teresa: I would love that. Please do go and say hello. Thank you so much. It's been a pleasure to have you.
Aneta: You as well. Thank you.
Teresa: Okay. So hopefully you have got so much good stuff from there. It was awesome. Really, really good. Obviously please do come and find us. Please say hello to both of us. Tell us what you thought of this episode. It'd be so, so good. And if you've got like any morning routines or anything that you do, I would love to hear it cause I'm nosy and I love that stuff.
Okay. Have an awesome rest of your week and I will see you next week.