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Surviving Personal Struggles in Business: A Story of Resilience

Today’s episode of the podcast is an interview with Kimberly Swenk, where she talks openly about her experience with facing numerous personal struggles and shares how she managed them whilst still being able to run a successful business.

Kimberly is a Digital Marketing Expert and two time cancer survivor. She has 15 years experience in digital marketing, including social media, websites, SEO, email marketing, and paid ads, in addition to traditional marketing like print and events focusing on small business communications and client loyalty.

This episode is filled with so much wisdom, insights and important messages, and really is a must listen for all business owners.

 

KEY TAKEAWAYS COVERED IN THE PODCAST

  1. How Kimberly stopped herself from going down a rabbit hole of depression and failure
  2. The actions Kimberly took to ensure her business didn't disappear completely
  3. Kimberley's experience of guilt and how she learned to show herself grace and empathy

 

LINKS TO RESOURCES MENTIONED IN TODAY’S EPISODE

Connect with Kimberly on Instagram

Check out Swenk Social's website

Connect with Teresa on Instagram, LinkedIn or Facebook

 

Transcription

Teresa: Hello, and a really warm welcome to this week's episode of the Your Dream Business Podcast. How are you doing? I feel like I start that off the same every single time. It's hilarious. I really should have, even my voice goes up at certain points, so I do it. But you guys are used to that now, so that is fine.

So I am back with a another interview today, and I am really excited about today's interview, because, well, this conversation could go anywhere. So we're going to see where it goes, but I'm interviewing the very lovely Kimberly, who has been in my world for a really long time. And it's actually so nice to get on and have a proper chat with her.

Cause I don't think we've done this. So welcome to the podcast Kimberly.

Kimberly: Well, thank you for having me. I'm excited. I definitely have a unique, because I've been listening to a lot of your podcasts that have been, and I don't know if you've had someone like me on here yet.

Teresa: We have. I don't think we have. So start as always by telling us what you actually do and how you got to do the thing you do.

Kimberly: Well, my actual job is I help I'm in the marketing and advertising world. I help anestheticians, usually smaller ones, like solo anestheticians, smaller med spas create and work on their digital marketing strategy. That includes email website, social media, and basically most of my clients need someone like me to come in on a one off because they can't afford the big agencies come in and be like, okay, this is what.

You need to do these are your weak points all to do with their marketing strategy, because a lot of times an estheticians and med spas, they're not trained in marketing and advertising, you know, that's a whole they don't teach that. And their type of medical or aesthetic school, and also they're very intimidated by it.

Because as I know, you know, and your listeners know, it's the digital part is very technical and that can be overwhelming. And when you get into like Google ads, Facebook ads, I mean, you know, it's technical.

Teresa: And that's not what they're there to do. That is not what they've been qualified to do. That is not.

And I think I see this a lot and you must see it, especially in the industry you're in. Like they come into their business because they're good at the thing they do or they want to do the thing they do. And then suddenly they're expected to have all these other skills doing all these other things, which quite honestly, why should they know about these things?

Kimberly: Exactly. And they don't, they don't teach that. And it's, I'm sure you have this a lot with a lot of your clients. It's extremely, it's a long game. It's a marathon. And, you know, you keep hitting these walls and you keep failing and which is not really failing. But if you don't know, you don't know that. And you just want to give up and that's the worst thing you can do.

Teresa: Yeah. A hundred percent.

Kimberly: A lot of it's just telling them, like, listen, you're doing great. You may not think it's great. You may not think, you may not think a 1 percent conversion rate is great, but I promise you in this instance, it is really good. Pat yourself in the back. And so it's a lot of that.

Teresa: That is something that I think as marketeers, as people who are in businesses need to talk about more, the amount of people that I speak to and they go, Oh, it didn't do very well.

It didn't go very well. And I go, do you want to tell me your numbers? And then they give me their numbers now. And then I've sat here with my calculator and I'm like, that's like a 10 percent conversion. It did amazingly. Like, but they don't think it did because they don't know. And. We need to educate people a bit more.

So what, cause obviously you've been in this digital marketing space for a long time and you niched into this space you're in now. Why did you decide to take that niche?

Kimberly: Well, it goes back. I, I worked in the corporate world forever. Worked with, it was Danone, which is the French water company. I've worked for AT& T.

All the biggies and the corporate world in the US is not very conducive to a family. And I had my first child who was premature and he couldn't go into any type of daycare. And in the US we really don't have a support system. Like legally, I could take three months off and not be fired. But you know, I was technically kind of expected to come right back.

So, I had to quit because. Couldn't do that with a premature child and so I just thought I took a couple of years off to raise him because he was premature. And then I started just continuing doing what I was doing, like AT& T and Danone, but I did it for just companies just random, I did, I did a funeral home, like just random, total.

Teresa: I love this stuff though. Like when you're in marketing, the stuff we learn to market is nuts.

Kimberly: I mean, I did a tire company, but the most interesting one was the funeral home. And, you know, it was all the, the website, the search, the ads, you know, you're like embalming. One of them was actually a trailer park, and this was the big drama is they didn't want to like when you go into a search, you have to like Google, you have to search for what the people are thinking, not what you want them to think.

So they were trying to change their branding away from trailer to mobile unit. And I'm like, people don't type in mobile unit.

Teresa: No, they try to type in trailer. Like, I love this. I love it. Okay. So you were doing it for anybody.

Kimberly: And then at a random shoot, I was, it was a organic soap company and I was at a random shoot and I was doing the social media, you know, all the behind the scenes.

And I met at the time, the spokesperson they had hired was the head makeup artist for CNN. Which when I lived in Atlanta, that's where CNN is based. So she actually hired me to help her. And then that's how I got into it. We formed a really great relationship and I started working for her and she introduced me to people and she, and I'm like, you know what, this is kind of my dig.

This is, this is what I do. It interests me very, very much. I'm very vain. And it's better than the tires. It's better than the tires. And it's better than the funeral home in the trailer parks. And I just really loved it. And I always believed that, you know, what is the riches in the, is in the niches or the niche that phrase.

I know it. And. I really enjoyed it. And I got along with the people in that industry. It felt more organic, the relationship. So I started going that route and working with her and I did a lot of her personal stuff. She also owned a magazine and I did a lot of stuff for that. And then that's how I kind of organically grew into it was when my kids were older.

So that helped too. Yeah. And just kind of grew into that. And that's how I yeah. I basically went with my passion. It's, is it easy? No, but I'm legitimately interested in it.

Teresa: Yeah. And I think like that helps massively. And when you've had clients, you know, cause I've done it the same, you know, when I started just with the agency, we work with people that are not.

Like, I have no interest in the thing that they sell and it's not that, you know, when you're a marketer, you mark, you know, you can market things, that's your job. However, if you can be interested in it, I just think it's, well, you've just taken another step, haven't you? So the reason we've got you on today isn't necessarily to talk about, social media and the job you do.

It's to talk about resilience in business, because this is the bit that I don't think, and I try and talk about it a lot, but I don't think we talk about it enough. I think we have grown up in a world where one, you know, women's. Women are not seen the same way as men in business. And when we've gone into a business world where we, as entrepreneurs have created our businesses, we are being coached or watching experts who are males who don't have the same life experience as we do.

And yet we're still expected to just rock up and be like that and get up at 5am and do the 5am routine and do this thing and do that thing. And you have had the most stuff thrown at you. And if I was you, I'd be like on a sofa with my head under a blanket.

Kimberly: You know? Yes. And and no. What I, you have to accept things for what they are and you can either fail or you can succeed or you live or die.

Yeah. There's no. So you have to make a decision of what you want to do, and you can't, you can only play the victim so much, you know, I think a lot of that. Once you stop playing a victim and realize, okay, I've got to do what this is, this is my world. So, and it, you know, but when my child was premature, I had to do what I wanted.

I had to do. I mean, it is what it is and. I, the corporate world was just not that, you know, and then my second son was born, but he has severe dyslexia and ADHD and dysgraphia, which is where you write backwards.

Teresa: Oh, wow. I've never even heard of that.

Kimberly: Yeah. And he cannot, the good thing, he can only write in cursive.

He cannot write print. Okay. So he actually has beautiful handwriting. And it took us about five years to figure out what he's also was speech delay. He's fine now. What was going on? So all my dreams of having this big career and my ignorance of knowing what having children was like. Yeah. You know, I had to change my paradigm of what I expected out of life and I still wanted to work and I, this is what I think is difficult being a woman is almost in a way you're expected to have a career and a family and you can't have both perform at a level 10 at the same time. It's just impossible.

Teresa: And then add in. Like some of the other things that you've been dealing with. So, just tell us, like, I've got your personal bio in front of me. Just like, just talk through kind of what's happened in your life.

Kimberly: Well, so, basically my life was Pretty easy till I was 17, and I mean, that being normal, like, nothing extreme, but my dad had served during Vietnam and was exposed to chemicals at a camp, a military camp called Camp Lejeune in North Carolina.

And what they had done is they had not lined the refuse like ponds. So all the chemicals were sipping, dripping into the water. So my dad had been eating, breathing these god awful chemicals and ended up dying at age 45 of a rare cancer that's attributed to these chemicals. Any American might, you can just type up Camp Lejeune and it will come up.

Yeah. And he died was basically over six weeks. And then my mother had a nervous breakdown. And one of the last things that I was doing with my father was trying to get my mother institutionalized. And so that, I don't want to get all teary eyed just cause that's so traumatic. So, my father died and then it was basically me and my brother and my grandmother used to come in and my mom was physically present, but not mentally, she did not do well, it was very suicidal.

And so I basically had to step up in the span of six weeks. So a little stressful there talk about post traumatic stress and I'll get that plays into it later. So when I was 25, I was first diagnosed. So my dad died when I was 17, when I was 25 after university, I was diagnosed with thyroid cancer and it just came up as a lump on my throat.

That's it. From my understanding, it's largely genetic. It runs in the family. All the females in my family have thyroid problems. It's just me and another aunt that have the cancer. So they're thinking it's some type of gene. And so I went through that. Luckily at that point, see what it was is at that point in 1999, they were not sure how Synthetic thyroid would affect your childbirth, your ability to carry a child to term because that plays a role in accepting the foreign body and not aborting it.

So I kept, I only had the part of my thyroid that was cancerous removed, so I had the rest of my thyroid left in because at that time I was like, I need some organic natural thyroid hormone and that was a risk I took and I knew it and. People who are familiar with thyroid cancer, it's a very manageable cancer. It's, you know, you only die

Teresa: saying to me, as cancer goes, it's the best one. Like you're going to get one, get this one.

Kimberly: Yeah, pretty much. Who really die of it are 89 and they also have, you know, C. P. O. D. They also have heart failure. You know, it's kind of like Parkinson's or something that it leads to a decline. But that's not what kills you. It's something that side effect of it.

You know, like, most Parkinson's people died choking. Yes, you know, it's not. But anyway, so then I was fine. I went on, had my children. And so then I've been working and it was COVID back and forth. I moved from Atlanta, Georgia, all the way to Colorado.

And that was a change in itself. If you, it's definitely a better change, but going from a huge Southern. U. S. southern city where it's hot to the middle of the Rocky Mountains in a ski town. While it's great. It's a change.

Teresa: And it's beautiful where you live. Like the pictures are stunning.

Kimberly: It's beautiful. Except when, you know, like the other day, my 17 year old son had, I had COVID and I didn't know it, but we were driving over a mountain pass. I'm like, Son, you got to drive like I'm about to pass out. So there is 17 and a foot of snow driving the car over a mountain pass in the Rockies, but it is what it is again.

And so then I, when you have thyroid cancer, any cancer, you go back for a yearly checkup and 22 years later, 22 years later, it came back. And this time. It was in the other part of my thyroid and it was also in 9 lymph nodes. So it had really kicked up a gear, which is very common when a 2nd cancer comes back that it comes back stronger.

And so this was all during COVID and I'm like, this is this is hell, like, you know, and part of my treatment was delayed because of it. Yeah. You know, and I actually had 3, I have 3 members of my family who at the time were COVID. They were, critical care nurses. So they were in the COVID world. And so it was delayed.

I mean, there's no way around it. It was just. It is what it is. So I had this in Atlanta. There is a thyroid research center. So I had my actual surgery there. Done by a surgeon who only that's all he does is thyroid cancer surgeries. And so he took all all of it out. But since it was a non lymph nodes, it had migrated.

I had to go get radiation treatment and the radiation treatment is nuclear. So there's only so many places that can do it. So there's, I went to the Mayo Clinic in Arizona cause that's not that far from where Colorado and it's absolutely amazing. And Shannon, Shannon, right? Shannon, Shannon, she actually lives near where the Mayo Clinic is.

And it's absolutely wonderful, but. So with the nuclear stuff, you have to go all the way. It's like three stories in the ground.

Teresa: Oh my god.

Kimberly: Yeah, I know, because it's, and it's surrounded by steel walls.

Teresa: I mean, that makes you feel like, well, this is going to be safe for me to do it. Like, literally, you're surrounding, like, walls, and not letting other people get exposed, and yet you're going in there.

Kimberly: Yeah, that's the scariest part, and I don't Many of your US listeners will know this, but not so much the UK, the Mayo Clinic does special treatments, research, end of life, last hope place. And so while I'm not end of life, my nuclear medicine is specialized only so many places. I mean, I don't know if they use uranium.

I don't know what they do. And so I have to, and this is where I really was probably in the lowest points of my life. So I go in and this sounds awful, but what. I felt like it was the grim reaper's waiting room. I'm like, this is awful. At least when I had my surgery, I was just in the surgical office. Now, this is where people go afterwards.

And a lot of the people who go there are on their way out. It's the last ditch effort. And I'm sitting in there. So the way it works is you always have to go to the blood work floor first, and then you have to go to your ultrasound gamma ray, x ray floor, and then you go to the doctor. So you're, but everyone there is either.

Most people aren't coming out alive. They are. And it's, I'm sitting there and I'm, you know, I'm 49 and I'm one of the youngest. And I'm like, this is just awful. And at the time, the only, you couldn't really have anyone in with you because of COVID. And I was like, I mean, they're, I'm just like, Oh my, like one person next to me, this was the blood work floor was stage four lung cancer.

And the other, this other lady next to me, she was older, probably in her eighties in a wheelchair. I don't even know she was alive. Like she was so gray. Cause her blood was, you know, it kind of comes to your core. And here I am 49 and this was on my first day, you have to go through all these appointments and I have a panic attack.

I start crying. A couple of reasons, one, I was at the same exact age that my father was, he died. And then here I am again, and this goes back to the post traumatic stress disorder, because I didn't understand, because I talked to my psychiatrist, why I was absolutely having panic attack and losing it.

Because I knew I wasn't going to die. I mean, it was going to be a hard road. But she's like, your body never forgets trauma. It doesn't matter how old you are. It never forgets those feelings. And so here I was at the exact same age as my father in the Grim Reaper's waiting room. And my boys were the same age as myself and my brother. So it was basically to my brain, the same thing.

Teresa: We've been here. We know this scenario. We know how this ends. Yeah.

Kimberly: The Mayo Clinic, they were So this lady comes over and she starts stroking my hand, and they bring over the therapy dog. And I'm like.

Teresa: Oh, my goodness. A dog. They've got a dog. Like, I would just have a panic attack just to see the dog.

Kimberly: And I'm like, and they're like, sweetie, you're going to be okay. And I'm like, I know. And I felt, and this is a really important thing that even applies to business. I felt such tremendous guilt being the healthy one. I was, I knew I was going to walk out. A lot of people did not. And I had a good girlfriend who was She had stage 1 breast cancer at like 40.

And so she had a similar thing to me. Like she, it would be a rough road but she knew she was going to get out. And she said, Kimberly, if you're sitting next to a woman who you think might be dead in a chair, you're not batting a thousand. Which is a U. S. term for doing great. You know, it's a baseball term.

She's like, so give yourself some grace because if you're there, you're not doing good. Yeah. Yeah. You need to put it in perspective and remember that because I had a tremendous amount of guilt. And it's interesting when you're in like that world, there's, there's like a hierarchy of suffering and I would get dirty looks from the people who were dying because all they wanted was to be me.

Teresa: Yes. Yeah. And this is so interesting because there is so much like everything you're saying. And even though I know we're talking specifically about your illness and what you're going through, you could literally take a tracing paper and put it directly over business and directly over that world. So there was a couple of things that you said, the guilt for one.

I think that is so, it's so interesting that we go there, like, it's so interesting that we, of all the emotions, of all the things that we choose guilt as like a problem, as if I'm not bad enough, this isn't bad enough, or if things are going well, I can't celebrate them, or I can't be positive. I know that so, in my communities, especially in the executive club, because it's a very close knit part of the club.

If someone's having a particularly bad time or a few people having a bad time, the people who are having a good time don't want to say anything. And it's like saying to them, no, no, no, you have to, like, we're here for all of it. We're here for the good, the bad, the ugly, whatever it is, but just because someone is going through a particularly bad time and you're not, doesn't mean.

That you can't, you should feel guilty for doing that and therefore want to make yourself smaller and want to make yourself kind of, you know, not share it. The other thing that you said, which again is just like, so perfect is the grace for where you were. And I think like if people could learn one thing to do one thing towards themselves, grace and empathy and sympathy.

I just feel like I know I've done a lot of this this year and it's a game changer by going ‘Do you know what? It's okay that I feel like this. It's okay that I might have this reaction. It's okay that I might have this, you know, mood or feeling or emotion. It's fine. And I have graced myself for that.' But one question, maybe, you know, again, yours, your, you know, story as it were, is super interesting, given that, you know, these are massive things.

How do you, and you said before as well about you can't be the victim. How do you a stop yourself from going down that rabbit hole of woe is everything in the world. And also, how do you then turn that grace and that kind of, it's okay that I haven't, and I keep, you know, obviously we record this, but if you're listening to it and see, but I, every time I talk about this, I touch my heart and I literally, I'm like grace to myself, but like, how do we give ourselves that grace that we deserve, but don't stay there too long either.

Because, because that's like a get out of jail free card. So when I was going through, I still am going through therapy, one of the things that my therapist said to me, it was a bit like Good Will Hunting. She was like, it's not your fault. Okay. And I said to her.

You do know I'll use that. And I said, I'll use that. So when I do something that's destructive to me, I'll go, not my fault. I'm just going to do it like not my fault. So how do you, you know, that victim role, that too much grace so that you're then just like letting everything off the hook and going, but it's fine because I'm doing this and how do you try and manage that and come out to then eventually show up and still be a person and still do the day job and still show up to the world?

Kimberly: Well, first of all, I've been in therapy since my first cancer. So that's what, 20 plus years? Yeah. Because, I mean, granted I only go maybe once or twice a year now, but you need an outsider perspective. So I always, even if you don't have, like I've been diagnosed with depression and generalized anxiety disorder, and I'm also on medication and.

Don't, you really have to if I don't know if the stigmas worse or less in the UK, I don't know compared to here, but you just have to get over it. You know, it's you can't do it on your own. The world is not a warm and fuzzy place. It's a very harsh place. And you, I encourage everyone to deal with it and. That's 1 of the ways, honestly, is because I've been in therapy and on medicine forever.

And to me, once I had children, I was like, okay, it's not about me. It does not matter.

Teresa: Yes. Yes. Yes.

Kimberly: I have to do my children. Shouldn't have to pay for my crimes for lack of a better term. Yeah. So I was okay. I need to get myself together. That was one of them. And two like, for me, when I was in the grim reapers room, which I spent a lot of time with because I actually had to go into isolation for two weeks when I had my treatment because they make you radioactive and no one could be around you.

The two weeks in isolation, you have a lot of time to think.

Teresa: Enough to send anybody over the edge, quite honestly.

Kimberly: And, and also when I was in there, I was like, okay, these people would give anything to have my life. Yeah, because they're not coming out of here. And when you're surrounded by all that death at 49 or 48, you're like, okay, I, it's a very like, mind altering and once you realize is life is hard.

But that's no excuse. You will fall down. That's no excuse. You will struggle, but that is life. You, if you want to live your life, every single time you get blown down, you get back up. It's a harsh, harsh world. And the cream rises to the top over time. The difference between the people who succeed and don't is not the amount of times they've failed is the amount of times they've gotten up.

Yeah. And I actually, I actually watched a documentary on Michael Jordan, the basketball player. And he said, he's like, I have failed more than anyone else in history, but I've also won more. And he's like, the only reason I am where I am is because I failed time after time, after time, after time. So instead of seeing failure as a bad thing, you see it as a good thing.

And I think that's how, like you said, not being a victim it's because. Bad things are going to happen to everybody. Yeah. And, you know, people may have not had cancer now, or people may not have had tragic events now, but like when you're talking about in your executive club, people who are doing well, that's great because chances are, they're going to not do well at some point.

Teresa: 100%. No one's getting through this life with no issues and no problems. Some get away with a lot less than others, but there's never not going to be a point where things aren't going your way. And even if it's just from a sales point of view or a business point of view, or, you know, someone dies or someone gets ill or you get ill, or there's always going to be Something, and I think this is where this balance is so fine for me as a coach, but also for the people that I coach, there is such a fine balance between giving people the empathy and the sympathy and the comfort that they need and then challenging them.

And there are some people that could come to every single coaching call and go, Oh, but the reason I haven't done this is because I've gone through this. The reason I haven't done this is because I've gone through this. However. They're always going to find a reason. There's always going to be a reason.

And then there's other people who are going through things and myself included, you know, where we go through things and we, they quietly happen under the radar and we crack on and then we show up and do the thing as we've got to do. And it's such a difficult, it's difficult to know. And it's difficult for you to know, cause it's only you that could know.

Cause if you want to get in bed and not get out for six months, Kimberly, then that's up to you, isn't it? You know, but trying to motivate ourselves. So was there anything that you did, anything that you watched, read, saw, engaged with that really helped you go, okay. I've got to, you know, because during the entire time of doing this, everything you've been through, all the stuff you're going through with your sons and you've dealt with with your sons, you know, what you've gone through in your own health, the fact that you had a pandemic, you know, your husband has a business too like, you've still continued with the business.

The business is still continue to move forward and, and do its thing. And which, you know, Anybody listening to this would have been like, yeah, no, I checked out six months ago. So what is it that, what really helped you keep going forward?

Kimberly: Well, I knew if I had stopped completely, it all would have gone away and that would be giving up to the life.

It would be not getting back up. So what I've done, I mean, I've been maybe at one 10th of my level, but I'm still there. So people like you do not forget about me. My revenue is not cranking it out by any means. Still there. The billboard's still up. So I'm not out of people's minds. And that was my whole goal.

Okay. I just, I can't worry about my income right now. I just need to keep the face up. And so that's what I did. And I, by actually watching. Oh, here comes my dog. I'm sorry.

Teresa: No, mine's been barking throughout all of this. So I'm hoping people can't hear it because honestly.

Kimberly: I can't.

Teresa: They have like a radar. It's like the minute I hit record, they're like, Oh, mom's doing a podcast. Let's bark our heads off. So you're all good. Fine.

Kimberly: So that in, in this, something was interesting. I focused away from any type of code. I've just started doing some coaching. What I did those two years was just templates, courses and guides, which don't sell well. I'll be honest with you.

Teresa: Yeah. Yeah. No, they're not going to be the best things in the world. Unless you've got a ginormous audience.

Kimberly: So, but I, sorry, my dog's scratching.

Teresa: It's fine.

Kimberly: So I just did that to have my face and my name out there. I'm like, that is really, I don't want to lose my business. I don't want to start all over from the beginning. 'cause that is so hard. Yeah. The say, I mean, it's like social media. You don't wanna go poof. Even if you just put on one post. Mm-Hmm. . And so I did the bare minimum and now I'm starting that. I'm, my treatment was in April and I've been clean, like I'm a druggy or something, but I've been clear since then.

And now I'm starting 2024 is going to be more of the coaching because I didn't. Yeah. I didn't want to reduce the quality of my product, which is me. So that's why I did the courses and the templates and the guides because it wasn't me facing. And so if I had a bad physical day, it didn't matter.

Teresa: No, if, and if someone bought it, you weren't delivering it, it was done. And actually. I am a big, I'm very anti the passive income term, because most thing isn't passive. And it wasn't when you created it all, but actually this is when it comes into its own. This is when, you know, yes, you might not be making millions. However, if you do have something and you can't show up every day. This is a good reason why.

I think what people do is they make the mistake of thinking an online business is all like this. And it's not because in my business, when I have a membership and I coach and I show up on podcasts, I've got to show up.

So regardless of what's going on. Now, I can reduce everything else down to next to nothing and literally put my face on show up for my two hours on a coaching call or my mindset thing in the club and then disappear again, but. I had to do the things I had to do. So actually having those products that could sell without you is, is awesome.

Kimberly: And it was more just so a, I could feel good about myself still using my brain and working. I wasn't just vegging out and knowing when I got better, it was still there. I wasn't. It was easier to start over and anyone I feel like who's going through like a divorce or a medical issue or death in the family.

I would tell them if they have their own business, just do the bare minimum. So people don't forget you. Yeah, and don't worry about your income because unless you have your health or your peace of mind, you're going to put out a low quality product and that's going to hurt you in the end. And that's why I didn't do any coaching because I, you know, I didn't want any bad reviews or I didn't want any like, Oh, Kimberly, she's awful.

Yeah. Because it's been up all night. Night sweats or something. So, you know, people, you just need to put out your bare minimum so people don't forget you. And then when you're ready, come back because you don't want to put out an inferior, you know, product to your face and do permanent damage. And going back to speaking about being a victim, you could, this is what I do.

I allow myself 1 night to feel bad. I sit in my bed, I eat chocolate and ice cream and I'm, but the next morning I have to get up because there's millions of people in the Grim Reaper's waiting room that can't. So for them. I have to give it up because if I don't get up the next day, I'm doing them a disservice.

Teresa: Oh, I love that. That's just like giving me goosebumps.

Kimberly: Oh, thank you.

Teresa: You're right.

Kimberly: So I just have my one night of pity, my one night of, you know, my husband, I'm like my, but the next morning I have to get up because there's people who would give anything. And I have to do it for them because I've learned that lesson from them, you know. The worst thing is when you're in there with little old ladies and men, and they're like, 90 years old.

And I'm like, because they, at that point, I think if people were terminal terminal, they allow their partner to come in and there's like a little old lady pushing her husband. I'm like, she's like, 89 years old. Her life is going to be destroyed when her husband dies. And I'm like, okay. It's not just, okay, I'm 49, I've got.

Teresa: Yeah. It's not just the one, is it? It's not just one person, it's Mm-Hmm. The others. I just, one thing that I, I think about and I try and, you know, it's a bit morose, but I think sometimes you have to think about these things is when we sit and worry about showing our face going live on Instagram, like pitching for a podcast or pitching for a speaking thing, and we are fearful to do that.

I just think. Like Teresa on a deathbed is going to be like, Oh, you should have just done it. You should have just, who gives a who, what happened? Like, honestly, I don't want to sit there and think I could have tried harder. I could have done more. I could have taken more risks. I could have put myself out more because I don't want those regrets.

I don't want to think, you know. Why did I do that? One thing I love, which I need to share, because you're in this industry where you are in the beauty industry, you are dealing with beauty professionals. One of the things that you're very honest about, and this is kind of a little bit what I'm talking about, is you will have a treatment done, and I don't know if anybody's ever had treatments where, like, They've done like derma blading or whatever, they've done this stuff to your face, but your face does not look good afterwards.

Like it looks like you've been smacked around.

Kimberly: It does.

Teresa: And you will come straight onto Instagram stories with your face, like looking like it's had 10 rounds and be like, I've just had this done. And it's like, there's no fear. Is that the truth or is that just, do you just have the fear and do it anyway?

Kimberly: Oh, no, I. Okay. Prior to my experience at the Mayo Clinic, it was fear, but now I'm to the point. I feel like there's so many, like we were talking about before. There's so many 16 year olds with filters on selling anti aging. And then you've got these middle, middle age 40, you know, and we're feeling bad about ourselves.

I'm like, Hey, they got a filter in there. 16. Everyone looks, I don't care. Everyone looks good at 16. I don't care what you say. Everyone does.

Teresa: Honestly.

Kimberly: I want, I don't want women to feel bad about themselves based on fakeness and stuff that don't exist and I'm very real about it because yeah, you know I don't want people looking at me and be like, oh. It's a hard road And that's what I think a lot of people get discouraged is when they think they're not living up to something That is fake.

So now I get on there, I'm like, listen, you know, I don't, it's painful. I had to be numbed and I just got zapped. My face is on fire, but it makes me feel better.

Teresa: And you look amazing. FYI. I definitely. So how old are you now?

Kimberly: 49.

Teresa: 49 now. Like you definitely do not look 49. Kimberly's skin looks younger. I'm 44. Like your skin looks younger and more youthful than mine does for sure. So whatever you do. Yeah. Yeah. It's work. Well, maybe I need to get zapped. I mean, I won't even come on a story without my makeup on. Just cause like, I was with my sister once.

This is so funny. I was with my sister and, we were talking to someone and I said to them, I, I like makeup. I've got a good face for makeup. And she said, yeah, you want to see her. She does not look good without makeup. Well, thank you very much. I really appreciate that. So, okay, so if someone has sat there now, like, because like I said, it's so hard, it's so hard to know.

No, you're just, you're just being a victim and you wind your nose to just get over yourself and get sorted. Yeah. Like if someone sat there now, like, is that me? Or am I really struggling and actually I need to give myself some grace? Or how do I get myself out of this funk? Or how do I move past this thing? What advice would you give them?

Kimberly: Well, first of all, I think people need to determine if it's really just a situational or if they actually have clinical depression or anxiety. Yeah, I think it's so prevalent in the US. There goes my dog is so prevalent in the in the US or the UK and there's still a stigma, but you cannot be successful if you don't get a clinical medical problem solved.

Yeah. So I think a lot of people need to determine if it's an actual imbalance or, you know, you need some help medically. And if you, if you don't, I mean, there's plenty of quizzes you can do online. I mean, for me personally, I know the difference. Yeah. I know the difference.

It's pretty severe, but then you just gotta, life does not owe you anything and the world doesn't owe you anything. And the world is very, very hard. So once you accept those three things. You're like, okay, what's happening to me is just normal. It is. Yeah. And so I have to get up the next day. And if I don't, I won't be successful.

Teresa: Yeah. And I think some people need to have a very honest conversation with themselves. And this is very hard for me to say, because I feel like some people who will be listening to this might be like, Oh, this might be me. But some people that isn't just, it's just not for them. You know, they don't want to do that.

They don't want to show up the way they haven't did. They don't want to have to keep working. I literally had a call with someone just now. And I said to her before this call that like, for me, tenacity is the thing. Like it's that getting knocked down, get back up again, getting knocked down, get back up again.

And if you don't want to do that, fine. Right. I'm not saying everyone needs to do that, but be honest with yourself and know that you're going to get what you're going to get. So if you don't want to have to keep getting back up and keep fighting because it's exhausting and it is hard and, and I'm not saying that it's definitely not easy, but if you don't want to keep doing that. Then you don't have to.

That. This is your choice, you know, so don't keep saying it's everyone else's excuse or it's everybody, you know, it's this problem. And I, I'm just very unlucky and I'm the, this I, you know, I've got this problem and this has happened. And then this has happened. It's like, you've got to get to a point where you go, actually the chances of things getting any easier are slim to none because it never.

And especially when you've got kids, like you think you're coasting along and then something happens and like blows up your world, you know, and then at the age that I'm at now and you're at, you know, I don't know whether your mum's still with us, but you know, my mum passed away.

You know, my dad is just had lung cancer and thank God has got the all clear because they caught it really early. Amazing. And he went in, this is so funny. I was talking to someone like this the other day. He went in and basically said, my mom was very negative. Okay. Everything was awful. Life was awful.

Like my, she was the biggest martyr going. So when she got cancer, she got esophageal.

Kimberly: Ooh, that's a bad one.

Teresa: That is a bad one. And my mother in law said to me that her mum had it and basically died very quickly. And I think she was kind of saying, prepare yourself. And we said, and this is going to sound horrific for those of you who don't know me well, we were like, I hope it is because this woman is gonna milk it.

Right. But, and she would relish in the fact of, we knew she would have, like, she would have made the agony of it even more agonizing for everybody and herself. And She died super, super quickly and we were kind of super, super grateful for that. But we weren't surprised because she was a very negative person.

Her energy was bad. Everything. My dad joked for most of my life, he's gonna live till he's a hundred, right. Gets diagnosed with lung cancer. The guy's 74, so he's not a young guy. He also has a lot of, I can't remember what the medical term is for it, but basically when you have lots of other issues that can then go, okay, well it would be okay, except you've got all these other things.

Yes. And he went in and said to them, I don't know what you're gonna have to do, but you have to fix it because I'm living till I'm 100 and they found it, caught it, gave him an operation. He's just had the all clear. And I just feel like there is something. The brain is so crazy powerful that actually him going in with that.

I mean, his cancer was not a good cancer either. Lung is not an ideal one. And he had COPD. I mean, could you have got any worse? Like, you know, so he, but he went in and straight off the bat was like, I'm living to the hundreds. You better sort this out. Whereas my mom was like, Oh, here we go. And I laughed.

It sounds awful, but she did like. The world had to know. She wanted a party, a goodbye party. Unfortunately, it was COVID and she died. But, you know, like, I just feel like you, but you're the only one who can do that, aren't you?

Kimberly: Yes, but there's actually a correlation between anxiety, creating inflammation, which weakens your system.

And just the brain is very powerful and it can create a lot of negative chemical reactions in your body. So even to this point, I can't be around negative people because my, I don't want that bad energy because I don't want, if there's one, there shouldn't be one cancer left because it all it takes is one cell.

Yeah, I don't want inflammation and stress and then that gets by the little gatekeeper of my immune system and it's over so I'm like, no, because there is, you know, anxiety creates inflammation and put stress on your body that all that adrenal running so you really have to, you know, like you mentioned, not being a business owner is something very few people can do.

You have to have a set personality for it. It's not for everybody and it could be very lonely and it's really, the thing is that's okay because the world takes everybody. I am not organically an entrepreneur. I'm not organically that I am an Ingram three, so I'm a high achiever.

Teresa: Amazing.

Kimberly: Judged by, I like being, you know, I look for external validation.

I want awards and accolades. So that plays into being an entrepreneur, but I'm not organically a risk taker. Yeah. So my evolution of being an entrepreneur and being a business owner came out of my life situation. It is not, I had to adapt if I wanted my children to thrive. Yeah. And, you know, my husband, he is organically an entrepreneur.

He is an Enneagram seven, so he jumps off before even checking his like parachute. I check it 15 times and, but success, you know, favors the bold and that's what he is. Yeah. You kind of have to adapt to it. And, you know, so it's not meant for everybody. It's hard. It's not meant for everybody and that's okay.

Teresa: Yeah. But only you can be the person who goes, okay. Yeah, this is actually and it's not giving up. It's not saying, well, I'm not gonna have a business. It's just saying, you know, be happy with what you're doing. If you find that every time you try and do something else, there's a reason that comes in an excuse.

And, I think that is the thing. Like, I'm one of these people that shares the, scar, not the wound. Okay, so I will go through something. I will quietly work away at the thing that's happening in my world. And when I'm ready, I will then share it. But by that point, I'm over it. Or by that point, I've gone through the worst of it.

And therefore, I've still shown up. I've still done the things I needed to do. I've still had the, the appearance that everything is fine. And it's, and it's kind of a case of like, is there someone else in my world that has been successful or done the things I've done and, and had some of these problems?

Of course there is, because there isn't a person who gets away without some of these things, is there? And if they can do it, we can do it.

Kimberly: That didn't really, I also watched the Robbie Williams.

Teresa: Oh, that's on my list. Yeah. Yeah. On Netflix.

Kimberly: He did not have an easy life. And what I've learned when I was in my two week isolation, I watched all these documentaries that almost every single person who is highly successful, and I'm not just talking business wise, I'm talking family, marriage, children.

They've all had very hard lives. Yeah, it was never given to them. They failed more than once and they feel bad. But the Robbie William one is really, really, really good.

Teresa: Yeah. Yeah. I need to watch that. The other thing that weirdly just came into my head as we were talking, which I feel like, I don't know why this, I feel like I want to recommend it.

But if you watched, Lessons in Chemistry on Apple TV. That is fascinating. That is by a woman. Oh God, I'm going to like mess up the age, but basically it was in an age where women didn't particularly work. And if they did, they did admin roles. And when they were pregnant, they were like told to leave because you couldn't be pregnant and work.

And she was a scientist and basically it was impossible for her. Like she literally had everything running against her. And she kept fighting and fighting and showing up and doing it. And she then had a kid and like, it's just, and I don't know whether it's a true story or not. I've no idea, but it's really inspirational.

And I think as women, because we are often given the responsibility of these other things like children, like the home on top of the fact of running a business that actually sometimes we need to see that other people are killing it.

Kimberly: You know, my, my, the takeaway of people who listen to this podcast, I want them to realize it's hard. It's difficult. But then people who go through the most are usually the most successful and you can't play a victim and you just have to keep going and it's not, but it's okay if you're not organically like that. I'm not. So, and also I want to tell you how much I love you and if you ever come to the U S. Well.

Teresa: Colorado is on our list, like it's really on our list.

Kimberly: Anywhere. I mean, if you ever need any insight, I mean, I'm determined to have you come here to hang out with you.

Teresa: Honestly, I want to, I really, really do. We'll just organize something just for us to, I'll just come to Colorado. You know what I mean?

Kimberly: It's cool. It's a hard life physically, but mentally it's very easy, but physically it's. Like I was driving my boy into school and it's been snowing. But last yesterday I got above freezing. So part of the road was all sheer ice. Wow. You know, so it's, but anyway, you have to come here.

Teresa: I will. I will.

Kimberly: So I just love you.

I love your positivity and I love you're one of the few coaches. I feel that is very authentic. Very.

Teresa: I really appreciate that.

Kimberly: Yeah. You're not a sleazy marketer. You're not promising false hope. You're really good. And I hope you know that, that you're, I love you. Like I said, I mean, I love you. I think you're awesome. I'll follow you forever.

Teresa: Thank you. Thank you. I'm not going to have to get out of my office because my head will be too big. But honestly, I have loved having you on. I have been, really honored to watch and for you to be in my world while you've been going through this and to see, like when you emailed me to tell me, I was like, holy crap.

Like. And even your positivity in the way you talked about it and the way you're showing up and the way you continue to show up and you talked really authentically online about it, but not in a, you know, in a awful, and I was talking to my coach about this, about showing up authentically. And she said, bawling in tears and then going, Oh, hang on, let me get a story and cry on a story is not authentic.

Like. Having a conversation and maybe getting a bit upset or talking about it afterwards, that's authentic. But when people go on and go, I just wanted to come and talk, like, hmm, really? Is that authentic? But you, you did it in a really lovely way. So thank you. Thank you for letting me be part of that.

And thank you for coming on and sharing your story because it's like, it's you.

Kimberly: I love you. And also I feel the cream rises to the top over time and I  just feel like there's so much pressure on women and it's, I mean, it, it's a harder life. Like even my husband's like, Ooh, I don't wanna be a woman. .

Teresa: Yeah. . No, me neither.

Kimberly: I know. And I don't want people to get discouraged. You know? There's so much potential in women and society's not the easiest to us, and especially in the US the corporate world is not easy. Mm-Hmm. . We've talked about the medical world and my billion dollars of money, but I'm like, go ahead. Like, I just got a bill the other day and I'm like, seriously, like.

Teresa: That's like the biggest kick in the teeth. It's like, as if I haven't actually just fight cancer. Oh, now I'll pay for the privilege. Thanks very much. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. Sucks. But honestly, so. If people want to come and find you and follow you, where can they find you? Where's best place for them to come and find you?

Kimberly: I'm always on Instagram. It's swenk social, which is S W E N K A social.

And that's, I'm always on Instagram. That's my best way to find me. And I, I love email, but you'd have to go on my Instagram to.

Teresa: Get on your email. Perfect.

Kimberly: Yeah. I'm a really good email marketer. That's what I did for all the corporate companies. So.

Teresa: Awesome.

Kimberly: And I actually took your email course. Do you still have that?

Teresa: Yes. Well, I, I did. You can't buy it now, but yes. Build my list. Well, I feel very honored that you took it.

Kimberly: No, it works. It works. It works. It works. So everyone, I don't know, email. It works well.

Teresa: Perfect. DM me, I can, I can find it and sell it to them.

Kimberly: It works. No, I did it and I know email it really, really worked.

Teresa: Thank you.

Kimberly: So there's my push for you.

Teresa: Thanks. Thanks. Okay. Thank you so much

Kimberly: You're welcome.

Teresa: for being on and for sharing the story. I've loved having you on.

Kimberly: Thank you.

Teresa: Okay. That was the awesome Kimberly. I really hope you've taken a lot from that. I have. We've just got to like crack on and do the stuff and show up. And when we get knocked down, we need to get back up again.

And that's the difference. That's how someone's going to be successful versus someone who's not. So I really hope you got a lot from this. Please do come and find Kimberley, say hi to her, let us know what you thought of this episode and I will be back next week with another episode. Speak to you soon.